Spouse doesn't comprehend
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| Mon, 01-08-2007 - 11:55pm |
My husband is very understanding, loving, giving, respectful, generous, he's every bit a completely wonderful and supportive husband.
He does not understand the concept of Bipolar Disorder though. From what I can tell. He thinks there's nothing really wrong, that I just happen to sleep 12-16hrs a day and that I need to change my sleep schedule. We also have the issue of getting a job. I DO want to have an income, but I don't think I will be able to do the careerthing like he is wanting me to do. See, the thing is I go through times where I was pushing and asking if I needed to work to help with finances and was all like "I can do anything I can work Fulltime takecare of the house/family and a parttime job too if I need too".
So of course he believes the "superwoman UPUPUP me" and doesn't understand the 'notup' me which is the majority of the time.

is he willing to go to the pdoc/tdoc with you?
God could not be everywhere, so
I tried to explain things to him, but he just doesnt get it. His response was to question why it was bad that he thinks that I'm normal. His mother is really whacked, like Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde. She thinks aliens talk to her through her tv and that teenage boys drive past her house for the sole purpose of antagonizing her. SO, I can see why DH thinks that I'm totally normal since I don't have psychotic episodes like that and I don't turn into Mr Hyde like she does. She'll cuss and scream at people and whine that she doesn't have diamond rings and necklaces. Then the next morning she's back to calling people sugar and honey. It's kinda scarey. I guess when you grow up with that as the norm, it alters your perseption of normal or healthy.
I'm glad he doesn't get mad that I sleep 12-16hrs a day. I wish I didn't though.
He has no recognition of triggers, no comprehension of triggers. He can't seem to grasp the difference between "when you do X it makes me mad/sad/frustrated/whatever-the-emotion-is" and "when you do X it triggers a major shift". For example, yesterday DH was really pushing to have sex. I just wasn't in the mood, besides its a big turnoff when he starts just groping and saying 'lets do it' woo... so he started whining and saying how it must be that I don't find him attractive, how I never want to do it with him, really pushing and manipulating. He was snuggling next to me (he only does that when he wants sex) and kept trying to grope me. But then he jumps up and says 'well FINE then' and he gets up and sulks off. So I am laying on the couch and just burrow into the couch and cover up with the blanket and go to sleep to shut everything out. Well when I get up, he's at me again, but this time about getting up and getting ready nownownow nownownow to run to get my carstuff and to the store. well, I need to take a shower, find clothes, get a drink cause Im really thirsty. He's rushing me, and I just cracked. EVERYTHING just PISSED ME OFF. I mean, the fact that the dishes were dirty, my job situation, my family stuff (my mother), etc. I'm able to control my behavior for the MOST part, but I get real distant and cold with a flat look on my face. and jesus I can't control that too. So he gets mad BECAUSE I'm irritated! He starts in with well forget it then, what's your problem, *I* didn't do anything (him saying), on and on. OMG
I'd offered for him to read stuff online, but he's never taken the initiative to do it. I'm not doing it for him. It's been three months and he was SUPPOSE to have made an appt for his daughter (my Stepdaughter) for a followup Dr. appt over two months ago and still hasn't done it. His response is 'why didn't you tell me'. gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Frustrated.
Anna
Anna,
Just my two cents..Maybe you can print out the infomation from online and leave it laying around the house so he can see it..and he just might pick it up and read it..there is a lot of good info online i know i have read it..Good Luck..