How do you know what "normal" is?
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| Wed, 01-10-2007 - 8:39pm |
Ok, I'm sure that is probably going to come off as a stupid question. I was just wondering, if you are so used to cycling, how do you know what you are "supposed" to feel like when you aren't cycling?
My dh and I have noticed my affect is pretty "flat" for the last month to month and a half. While thinking about what may have triggered this, I realized that is how long it's been that I stopped drinking. So, our theory is that maybe the meds are now doing what they are supposed to be doing (I started abilify about 2 months ago, while I was still drinking a little more than moderately). Maybe this is what "normal" is for me and it just feels "flat" or uncomfortable because I've never really been here. Dh has never seen me medicated with a mood stabilizer, since I just started on them in July. The topomax didn't do anything for me on it's own so we switched to abilify. Since I had never been medicated, our whole 19+ years of being together has been ups and downs with my moods so he just sees those fluctuations as "normal" for me. So, an even affect would seem different for him, too. I just feel like I'm kind of not with it a lot lately (trouble concentrating or paying attention, emotionally withdrawn, that kind of stuff). Pdoc said some of it may be the meds and if it continues to get worse we may need to make some changes. Tdoc suggested that maybe I just miss the "highs" so I feel dulled since I was so used to being hyper (which is one reason people with bp stop taking meds). It may also just be the season, the holidays, etc triggering the start of a depression...who knows. I'll never figure this illness out.
I'm not sure if any of this is making sense or if anyone can really answer this questions (how would any of you know what my "normal" is? LOL). It's been making me wonder so I thought I'd pose the question here since maybe one of you have pondered this at some point in your life. Ok, I'm done rambling now.
Thanks for letting me get that out of my head.
Peg

I think we've talked about this before, and maybe even called it 'how do you know your stable' type of question.
Personally, I think it means different things for different people.
God could not be everywhere, so
Hi Peg! I don't know what my "normal" is but I do know that with all the changes in my life since the beginning of October, my meds have made me cope better than I would have ever done without them. Traditionally, my hardest times of the year are Jan-Mar and I seem to be ok thus far.
I also think that the expectation of moods, reactions, happiness, sadness, etc. sometimes drives the actual mood or lack thereof. Does that make sense?
Probably not!!
Thinking of you!! Kelli
((((((((((((((Peg)))))))))))) I know whereof you speak my friend. Although alcohol was not in my equation. I experience the "flat" effect and speaking just for me, as it may differ for others, that feeling is often a precipitator of a depressive episode.