This is all so new to me...
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This is all so new to me...
| Mon, 01-29-2007 - 12:05pm |
Hey.
I'm 20 years old, and last week a doctor (who I was going to see to get a referal to a psychiatrist for depression) told me that she thinks I'm bipolar.
I don't know what to think. At first, I wondered. And then I looked up symptoms online (since she really didn't fill me in on a whole lot.) What scared me most, is that a lot of them match my own.
I'm going to see my (brand new) family doctor tomorrow to get it checked out again. I'm afraid of the outcome, because I have no idea what this condition means in terms of treatment, whether it gets worse, or whether it can get better. The doctor was just throwing words around like "manic episodes", "depression", "highs and lows", mentionning medication, but not a whole lot more.
I tried to look it up online, in medical textbooks, in bookstores, but the more I read about it, the more it makes sense that I would have that.
I don't know what I'm looking for from this community. Probably just support. And advice. I don't know yet. Heck, I don't even know if I'll know tomorrow.
I hate not knowing.
I don't know where I was going with this, but yeah...help?
Miss. D
I'm 20 years old, and last week a doctor (who I was going to see to get a referal to a psychiatrist for depression) told me that she thinks I'm bipolar.
I don't know what to think. At first, I wondered. And then I looked up symptoms online (since she really didn't fill me in on a whole lot.) What scared me most, is that a lot of them match my own.
I'm going to see my (brand new) family doctor tomorrow to get it checked out again. I'm afraid of the outcome, because I have no idea what this condition means in terms of treatment, whether it gets worse, or whether it can get better. The doctor was just throwing words around like "manic episodes", "depression", "highs and lows", mentionning medication, but not a whole lot more.
I tried to look it up online, in medical textbooks, in bookstores, but the more I read about it, the more it makes sense that I would have that.
I don't know what I'm looking for from this community. Probably just support. And advice. I don't know yet. Heck, I don't even know if I'll know tomorrow.
I hate not knowing.
I don't know where I was going with this, but yeah...help?
Miss. D

Dear Miss D....
I read your post and my first thought was how lucky you are to have a diagnosis so early in your life....for most of my life I knew that my thought process was different from others and I seemed to always be on the perverbial roller coaster....up down....down down up down...with few moments of feeling functional....after years of failed relationships....and confusion...unable to function often times...thought processes fragmented...feeling a failure at this thing called life...I was told I was simply depresses and prescribed anti.. depressants..the older I got the more severe my symtoms became.....so severe that my days were filled with thoughts of suicide an eventually atempts....3 attempts....and 2 hospitalizations...I still knew that something more than depression was the cause of my "madness" and I was determined to stay on a path ofgetting better ...what ever that took...my journey lasted for 30 yearsbefore I was diagnosed properly ...I am stable at the moment but at times I still struggle...it is a disorder that requires you to be constatly vigil of taking meds....therapy perhaps....it is not curable but can be managed with proper meds....there are a variety of types of bp and some symtoms can overlap....It is a very complex disorder and may take a period of time to find the right meds ...but do not give up....There is a book called "New Hope For Bi-polar Disorder"...it is very good and you can probaly find it on-line or in your library....it is written in simple plan language easy to understand and very thorough...it will give you a better understanding of what you are dealing with...After I read it I felt validated ...I believe that if I had been diagnosed early as you have been that my life would have been different...better.. So Miss D that is my story in brief....I wish you the best of luck on your journey.....Sincerely.....Buggg
To echo buggg, at least you have a fairly early tentative dx. I too struggled with this for yrs (from 7 yo, I am now 39), but I didn't even have enought self awareness back then to know I was really different. I thought EVERYONE had these emotions and mood swings and violent, explosive rages (well, not the rages, but my brother was the same way so just figured it was a family thing....turned out it was, but not like I thought). Anyway, I was finally "officialy" dx'd about a yr ago and started meds shortly there after. Meds do help allot, but are not a cure all....there are certain personality "quirks" (for lack of a better word) that are still present EVEN when the moods are stabilized.
Allot of emotions and reactions to things that I thought everyone dealt with, I have discovered were actually part of the bp, which I have learned by reading on this board. This board is a great support place.
It can get worse, I don't know about better without meds, but it can get worse without meds and if put on ant-depressants (a/d's) without mood stabilizers (m/s's) then it can DEFINITELY get worse.
Good luck and come here to vent as needed,
tk
Hi Miss D and welcome to our board. And to repeat what has already been said, feel blessed that you have been diagnosed so early in life. I am 40 years old and was only diagnosed 3 years ago and had spent the better part of my life thinking that the way I lived my life was the way everyone lived their lives. I knew no better. Meds are