HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 4:23pm

I was just changed to a new med. and have noticed that at the moment I feel a little sick, confused, irratable, etc.. My husband keeps asking what is wrong and when I try to explain to him that it's just a temp. react to the meds. and that it should level off in 6 weeks and he percedes to lecture me about not letting the meds. effect me this way - not using this as a excuse to be a little edgy. Instead of saying I understand and realize your not yourself - he said that since I was now aware of the effects I should be able to control them. That if I act a little snappy or tried he'll remind me and I'll then be able to correct my reaction.

Should this have been his reaction? Maybe the meds. are making me slow. I don't think he has a clue what I'm talking about. He isn't interested in what being BP involves or how it effects me or us. I was dx 7 months ago - he thinks that as long as I take my meds. I'll be fine. That I have control over everything I do. How am I going to tell him that I'm sick and will not get better? I just realized he has no idea what's happening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 10:30am

I don't know if it will help, some people are just convinced emotional disorders are just that, an excuse for bad behavior, but you could try leaving some literature for him to read, or if you feel more forceful take it to him and TELL him to read it. Either way, if he is in the "There is really no such thing as emotional disorders" camp, you may be in trouble. I can't offer any advice if that is the scenario

Thankfully I have an understanding mom and once she read the literature she thinks she may be bp too and understood allot more about how I was growing up and more about DS and some of what we are having to do to raise him. DW has struggled with depression her whole life, so when she read the literature, her response was "That explains allot".

Good luck and come here to vent as you need,
tk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2006
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 9:36pm

Although my husband is extremely supportive -on the surface-, I do understand how you feel. DH does not understand, and although he's had access to literature, he hasn't wasted the time to look at any of it.

Once I mentioned that I'd rather not have access to excessive amounts of cash because when I'm "up" I've spent $400-600 a hit at the Wal-Mart or Target buying clothes and just crap that I "neeeeeeded", which of course wasn't really something I 'needed'. His response was that I am an adult and he loves and trusts me. Great. Sure, that is a good thing really, but then what is going to happen when I say ooooh look, $2000 in the bank account and have an uncontrollable Wal-Mart urge and blow 500 or $600, which by the way we need every dime we have for bills and mortgage. Sure when I did that before I always regretted it and ended up wondering why the he77 I spent so much, but during the spree its like being on drugs or something. Hard to explain.

Anyways, I actually just emailed a couple things to DH and hope he reads it. He'd been just ignoring my symptoms. Let me sleep TWENTY HOURS a day, or curl up and hide under a blanket on the couch and fall back asleep. Of course at those times, I WANT to be let alone to sleep but now when I am lucid, I think jeez I would be seriously concerned if he was sleeping 14-20 hours a day every day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 8:27pm

My mother, who I live with and happens to be a BIG trigger for my episodes, does not/will not understand this disorder. I've come to accept that and close her out. But now she's invading my privacy in all aspects, I'm guessing as a "payback" for that. So, I'm guessing that's not the best way to go about handling it. Plus, there's a HUGE difference between living with my mother and you living with your spouse.


I do have a suggestion though. I don't know how willing he would be, but is it possible to take him to a therapy session with you and have your tdoc explain things to him, or even one of your pdoc appointments so the pdoc could explain the meds and the effects they have along with the side effects, etc.? That might be the better bet. Or if you're really lucky you might get him to agree to do both. I will keep my fingers crossed that your dh comes around. I know it's difficult when there's a non-believer in the mix, but with a good tdoc and pdoc they just might be able to get through to him. Hang in there sweetie.


Hugs,
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 1:18pm

Thanks for all your responses. I understand about the shopping sprees and the sleeping all day. My husband was not very understanding (I don't blame him) so he took me to a tdoc (one step down from tdoc to be exact) and they both decided I was doing it to get even with him (seems he had a 8 year afair with my best friend (really his best friend - befriended me to stay ahead of the affair)) I was totally pissed about the affair (actually totally pissed is a wayyyyyyy understated) but after 12 months of the pdoc I realized I had separte issues from the affair. No matter how much I agreed that the anger was hurting me the most I couldn't stop the overspending - the day I got kicked out by the tdoc I begged her to tell me what was wrong. She agreed it was something but had no idea what it was.

Thankfully my acting out at work forced me to see a real pdoc & new tdoc. It took the pdoc 5 mins to realize it was bp - to think I wasn't ever going back to any t or p docs because of the terrible experience with the first one. Just goes to tell you how important it is to get more then one opoion. As soon as I started the meds. the shopping stopped. Now I have to force myself to go shopping - funny I could have advoided so much pain and financial ruin if I just would have gotten the right help.

OH heck - now I'm getting depressed. Or maybe the depression is starting again - it's been months since I let the affair effect me and this week-end it started entering my thoughts again. Then again Valentine's Day may be tiggering it - you know promises of being loved forever. Sorry - I'm usually not this mushy - matter of fact that was one of the issues that drove my husband to cheat (or so he said). (OK - so I'm not over it yet.)

Thanks for letting me rant. It was a lousy week-end.

Michelle