Beaten down by a punk kid

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Beaten down by a punk kid
3
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 12:31pm

I answered an ad on Craigslist for someone to help a kid prepare for a theory exam. The level of the material was university, but since I've had theory all the way through graduate level I figured I'd be OK. Well the lesson time came, and it turned out she was not at the level I thought she was at, so I had different material to teach her (that I hadn't prepared for.) We did exercises from her book, I corrected them, and she gave little indication that she didn't understand.

WELL,
She went out into the lobby and had a fit in front of the director of the school. She said I didn't know what I was doing, she didn't understand a word I said, blah, blah, blah. She demanded her money back, which the school paid her rather than her embarrassing them in front of other students.

I feel bad. First of all, this was supposed to be the time I was to find out what she needed to learn, so I could prepare subsequent lessons. She didn't give me a chance. Even though the school is taking my side for now and giving me other chances with other students, this was a severe blow to my ego. I had been going through a depressive episode, and I can't afford this.

Is it typical for people with bp to have low self esteem like mine? I am downright afraid to believe in myself because I'm afraid all my naysayers are right about me. I don't know how to fix that.

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 3:44pm

Sounds like maybe she was looking for someone to tell her exactly what to do and not make her work so hard to understand how to do a theory and prepare for the exam. She was frustrated that you were not making it easy for her...that is how it sounds to me.


Don't beat yourself up because of some frustrated kid. Some kids are willing to learn and some aren't. This is her deal and you were there for her to blow up about when the real problem is she is mad at herself for not getting it.


Yes, it is sooo normal to have low self esteem with any mental illness. I give you so much credit for even trying to help a kid with school work. I would try and help my dd and she would flip out because she didn't understand what I was saying so in the future I didn't help her. I made arrangements for after school and before school help, when she was in school. I think you need to be easier on yourself. Helping anyone learn something they don't understand and are fighting hard to get is difficult to do. People get frustrated and mad at the person trying to help them a lot of times because they are really mad with themselves.


Try and let it go. I hope your next student is more willing to let you do your thing in helping them without the kid getting out of control.


Hang in there!!!!!


Tina




     ~ Tina ~

Avatar for jessie_sherman
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 4:47pm

I agree with Tina, that girl was looking for easy street, and imagine that! You tried to make her use her own brain, to get her to actually LEARN. I saw people like that in college. Some people look to gain and retain knowledge, others just use people to get an instant answer, and then promptly forget everything they have learned.

Do not give up, try again. Just because you had a snot nosed brat as your first student does not mean every student will be like her.

Jess

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Sun, 02-11-2007 - 7:50pm

((((((((Beth))))))) I think it's definitely a normal reaction for bp'rs unfortunately. You just have to keep reminding yourself that you are qualified to teach the material and that you wound up with a particularly difficult child. Because that's what it sounds like from my aspect. So just try to get your positive attitude back and take on your next lesson with that attitude and you will do fine. At least now you have an idea of the Theory you are dealing with. Don't let this one child beat you down. You are far better than she gives you credit for. The school administrators are no fools. Perhaps this student is a problem student. It sounds like the school took your side rather quickly which would account for your experience and perhaps the student's problem stature. I hope this helps. Keep your chin up:) Keep us updated.


Hugs,
Traci