Firing a pdoc???
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| Wed, 03-07-2007 - 7:57pm |
Is there some ettiquette for this? Do I have to explain myself to the old pdoc if I decide to move on? I've finally hit the point where the energy involved in dealing with him is greater than the energy needed to change doctors and I think I need to do this immediately. Ideally I'd handle this in the most responsible/adult manner possible. My OB thinks this means that I go and see him and explain my needs and give him a chance to meet them (he's just not helping me and I think he's afraid to deal with the liability of a pregnant woman) and if he can't or won't, then explain that I'll be seeking a second opinion and possibly change doctors. Only then would I actually seek out this second opinion. He's really territorial though and has this way of making me feel disloyal, irresponsible and non-compliant if I present him with opinions from other doctors (like my perinatologist and my former OB and my GP). The fact is I haven't even told him I started seeing a tdoc yet and I've been with her for a month and a half. I'm tired, drained and need some help without any drama. I'd like to just engage a new pdoc and have her get any records from him that she thinks she needs. Is this okay? Or should I do it the way my OB suggests.
Mary

Ooh I don't know. The best thing to do, IF you can, is to meet with your Pdoc and tell him your needs/feelings in a matter of fact/professional manner and request that he work with you. THEN if it has not improved, tell him you appreciate all he has done for you and that you feel you need to consult with other pdocs/ob's because of xyz. You should also be in communication with your OBGYN about the medications.
If you change pdocs, I suggest researching for one that has some experience with treating pregnant women. It's a touchy area since so many medications are category C, with unknown effects on the baby. I definitely would not suggest jumping off without communicating with your pdoc and the potential new pdoc. You don't want to be pdoc-less inbetween.
I'm not pregnant, but I had been TTC before my BP2 diagnosis last week. Now I have to stop TTC until I get the right medications. My pdoc (only seen him once) was perturbed that I wouldn't take his pills and just never TTC. !!! He sent me to my OBGYN to get my medications and told me to come back after I see my OBGYN. ((my thought there is that uh isn't the psychiatrist the meds specialist and the one that should know/research meds for BP pregnancy?))
I'm more the find a new pdoc and let him/her deal with the other jack off's prejudices. I kind of feel like mental/emotional disorders are draining enough without having to defend yourself too the very person who is supposed to be helping you and isn't.
tk
Mary,
If you can put it to your pdoc in terms that make it plain that you don't doubt his abilitities, but it's more a case of personalities/style that's the problem you may get him to give you a referral to one or more pdocs.
Thanks Marci. I actually already have a referral from tdoc to a friend of hers that deals primarily with women. Tdoc has even talked with this pdoc and paved the way for me. I'm just not sure how to deal with the current pdoc. In some ways he's a really good fit for me, but he's also dropped the ball a couple of times in ways that actually does make me question his competence. Argh! I know the righ way to handle things, I just don't want any confrontation at the moment. It will make me cry and I hate it when I cry. (very adult of me right?)
Mary
Mary,
If that's the case I'd talk to your OB first--since you want him/her on your side, explain your reason for wanting a change (and I'd emphasize current pdoc's unwillingness to cooperate with other docs & that referral is from your current tdoc, so you'll have a continuity of care) and see if he'd be willing to work with other other pdoc.
Thanks again Marci....What you suggest will not be a problem at all. My OB has been pressuring me to change pdocs for 2 months. I just have no energy for new dramas at the moment and was really hoping things could be worked out without a major change. Pdoc is just such a PITA though...sometimes I think he's the unmedicated bipolar pregnant woman. Geesh.
Mary
Hi Mary,
Ultimately that's a decision that you have to make, but here's my 2 cents worth. I would first explain to your current pdoc exactly what you just posted here. If he stonewalls you then so be it. After you have explained yourself, you have cleared your conscience and will be free to move on and find a new pdoc. Remember, a pdoc's role is to help you in the best way possible and it doesn't sound as though your current pdoc is doing that. It sounds to me like he's more interested in maintaining his ego. You don't need a doc like that. You need a doc that will listen to you and work with you to get you the help you need.
If, however, you don't feel comfortable confronting your current pdoc, you can always look around for a new pdoc and once you've found one call the old one and tell him/her then.
I was lucky when I had to switch because my pdoc at the time stopped carrying my insurance so I was kind of forced to find a new pdoc. And if it weren't for her and my tdoc and a brief stay in the hospital, Lord knows where I'd be right now, or even if I'd be here.
So there's my opinion. Good luck and I wish you the best in whatever you decide. Keep us posted.
Hugs,
Traci