breaking the news

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2007
breaking the news
5
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 8:44pm
hello there!
I've been dating someone for about 2 months now and things are going really well. The only thing is, is that he has absolutely no idea that I am bipolar. This is the first relationship i've been involved in since diagnosed almost 2 yrs ago. I don't really know how I am supposed to mention this. I know it may not necessarily be something he needs to know yet, but I feel like if he is going to be part of me, then he should know who ME is. I also have a general fear that telling someone will turn them away, so if that were the case, then I rather get it out of the way sooner than later. He so far has been really great and I don't think he would up and run, but again, its just a general fear.
So any ideas or sugestions?? Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 9:17pm

I would get up the courage quick and tell him. If he is the kind of guy that would leave a good relationship because the girl is bp, he is not the kind of guy any girl needs. It's better that you find out before you have too much invested. If he understands, then that is a great sign that he's a keeper!

For the record, my DH knew I was bp long before we went out. We were friends for two years first, and during that time I came to trust him enough to ask for help one day when I felt suicidal. The fact that he stayed so calm and offered caring help was one thing that attracted me to him later.

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 11:25pm

I think I would find the courage to tell him. As Beth said earlier, if he is the type of guy who would up and run for this he is not a guy you need in your life. You need someone who will be there for you if you need it. My xh wasn't there for me when I needed it, of course neither one of us knew what the problem was at the time, as I was not diagnosed but he said I was the one who needed help when our marriage hit the skids. I told him it takes two to make or break a marriage. And that rings true in any relationship. You sound like you are stable and that is a big plus in your corner, but in my own opinion you should tell him so if you become unstable he is aware of it and knows how to deal with it. Hope this helps.


Hugs,
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 11:29pm

I'm of 2 minds on this one (haven't had to face this one myself as I wasn't in a relationship when I was dx'd and have chosen to avoid any for a lot of reasons--one, being just this!).


Part of me says it's a new relationship--you wouldn't necessarily tell a new guy if you were diabetic or had other health problems, so why mention BP in th early stages.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2007
Sun, 03-11-2007 - 11:02am
Thanks everyone for your input, it really made me feel a little more comfortable about the whole thing.
I was feeling the same way about it, so I'm glad I am not rushing it. I really feel so eager to tell him just because I feel like i'm hiding something & i just want to get it over with, ya know?
But now the million dollar ? how do I bring it up? Can I do the "Hey by the way..." starter?? LoL
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Sun, 03-11-2007 - 11:37am

I would do it this way: next time you guys talk, start with, "there's something I want you to know about me."

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"