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| Sun, 03-18-2007 - 11:44pm |
Going going going gone.
I think I have lost my mind.
Two seconds ago I forgot where I was.
Then I forgot who I was.
I feel lost and empty.
Probably because I live in a world of shock and hell.
Not my own no everyone elses.
As I write this I now understand my meds.
I feel paraniod I don't know why.
I am a little angry do to recent events but,
something has messed me all up.
I am torn appart inside I feel like someone beat the crap out of me .
Someone did me.
Someone help please I havent had a breakdown in twelve years.
I think I have lost my mind.
Two seconds ago I forgot where I was.
Then I forgot who I was.
I feel lost and empty.
Probably because I live in a world of shock and hell.
Not my own no everyone elses.
As I write this I now understand my meds.
I feel paraniod I don't know why.
I am a little angry do to recent events but,
something has messed me all up.
I am torn appart inside I feel like someone beat the crap out of me .
Someone did me.
Someone help please I havent had a breakdown in twelve years.

Are you OK?! Sounds like you should head for the ER pretty soon! Keep in touch, let us know how you are doing.
Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"
Okay, first off take a big deep breath and let it out slowly, to help yourself calm down.
((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))
I know what you're going through and I put off going to the hospital for a very long time. Finally my tdoc ended up taking me to the ER. Soon after that I checked myself in to the hospital per tdoc and pdoc's advice. You may not need complete i/p, but if you don't get any better, go to the ER. As Marci said, there's no shame in getting the help you need. You need to take care of you right now and it sounds like a trip to the ER might just help get you back on track.
You've got a lot on your plate right now and that would send anyone into an episode. It's great that you've been stable for so long, but again as Marci said, Bp will rear its ugly head from time to time and we need to get the help we need to quiet it back down.
Post here as often as you need/want to. There's always someone here that will support you and try to help you as best we can. Hang in there sweetie. You're definitely not alone in this. Let us know how you're doing.
Hugs,
Traci
on top of witch i bam having problems with my family.
my husband hates me he don't understand.
i have a out of control 2yr old.
my 9 yr old has adhd and odd he is dragging me down,
with behavior problems.
on top of everything my friend commited suicide two days ago.
i have no one left.
i am ok i just need to communicate with someone who understands.
just so you know i talked to my pdoc and she ajusted my meds.
and i do go to weekly therepy i just am having a rough patch.
Sparkleeyes..........
Live life well & Always look ahead.
i hope we can be fiends.
Sparkleeyes..........
Live life well & Always look ahead.
(((((
Today he treatened to divorce me he says I am nuts.
He also said I dress like a hooker to piss him off.
No way , I wear knee lentgh skirts and boots.
So what if I have a sense of fashion I have to have something.
Anyways I do agree with what you said it's just so hard.
Yesterday I found out my sister is a heroin addict.
She is bp too. Also ocd and seviere anxiety.
She lives so far away I am in ny and she is kc missouri.
Another thing to worry about and this is serious.
I fear she will turn up dead.
I cant do anything, I am borderline nervous breakdown.
She is doing the methidone clinic three times a week.
She is also taking all kinds of phcyciatric meds.
She is not being monitored properly, I fear a lathal cocktail.
Opps please excuse my crappy spelling.
So as you can see I am totally confusd trying so hard to hold on for my children.
Sparkleeyes..........
Live life well & Always look ahead.
I'm in Kansas City, too!
I know it's hard to see right now, but the first thing you need to do is take care of yourself. Don't let your dh get under your skin. Easier said than done, I know - btdt, but you've got to work on getting stable before you can help anyone or even work on your marriage. My
Sparkleeyes..........
Live life well & Always look ahead.