Feeling really confused & angry

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2006
Feeling really confused & angry
5
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 5:21pm

I was diagnosed with BP w/mood disorder back in January.
I have been taking 200mg of Lamictal and 100mg of Trazadone which recently changed to 50mg of Seroquel. I also just started taking BC for cyling cysts on my ovaries.
Anyway I feel like I can't think. When people are talking I hear them I just can't process the information clearly. So I end up doing things wrong and looking stupid to my SO and my coworkers. Also when I try to explain something I know what I want to say but I can't find the words to describe the situation. Has anyone else experienced this too?

I have been feeling very uneasy and my moods are up and down all day. It is making me quite tired. I want to quit my job and leave my SO and just run away. But I know if I do it will make me even more upset. I feel so angry. Yesterday I didn't even want to look at anyone let alone talk to anyone. I would rather just be left alone. I don't want to interact with anyone. I have been avoiding going places so I don't have to talk to people.

I know that I cannot make any life changing decisions while I feel this way but I am afraid I am going to blow up and not be able to control my actions.
I have an appt with the therapist on Saturday so I can talk it over then.

Can I just cover up and stay in bed for the rest of the week until then? Please?????

Princess*

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 7:10pm

I know all too well what you are feeling. I had a lot of that when my pdoc insisted I wasn't bipolar and instead had a hard to treat depression and kept increasing my dose of Effexor. I also went through a lot of that last week and I'm feeling distinctly hypomanic at the moment. (i.e., I feel great and want to cancel all upcoming appointments with people in the medical business). Call your pdoc and tell him what's going on. Some of it might be expected side effects of medications that will diminish as your body adjusts, or you might be on the wrong meds. I you pdoc is decent he/she will help you out with this.

I will also mention that I took topamax as a mood stabilizer, which is an anti-convulsant the way lamactil is. Ramping up on that med was hard, hard, hard. I had a lot of the concentration problems you're mentioning and I got angry a lot. I'm dreading doing it again after my baby is born in June. However, at some point it just started working right and I felt normal for the first time in years.

I was only dx'd back in the fall though, so others might have more concrete advice than me.

Mary

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 2:56am

Princess,


Welcome to the board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:30am

I am on Lamictal also and when pdoc upped this last time I found I had the same issue when I added the last 25 mg in the morning (pdoc wanted 75 mg in the morning, 75 mg in the evening) I dropped that extra 25 in the morning (so currently on 50 in the morning and 75 at night) and felt good then and able to hold a thought in my head for more than two seconds and while I may not be completely flatline stable, what swings I do have are controllable and happen slow enough that I can recognize them. When I talked with pdoc two weeks ago he was comfortable with that and told me to stay there.

My two cents,

tk

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2006
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:47am

Thanks for the responses- I feel better today.
I just hate this rollercoaster feeling all the time. One minute I love my SO with all my heart the next I just hate him and never want to see him again. I did send the owner of the company an email yesterday and told him of my diagnosis and the side effects from the meds. He's the one who is always on my butt and giving major anxiety attacks. He wrote back and said that he'd once had a friend who had BP and so he had some second hand experience. He said he hoped he could provide the right tools to help me continue to do a good job. So I felt better that for once he actually acknowledged that I do a good job.

Maybe it will get better once the meds build up in my system- I have tried so many anti-depressant drugs already- prozac (5yrs) wellbutrin, zoloft, topomax, cymbalta - none really worked for me.

I wish you all the best!

Princess*

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 12:41pm

Princess,


Glad you're feeling better--that rollercoaster can definitely takes it's toll.