Is this "normal"? (poss. trigger)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Is this "normal"? (poss. trigger)
4
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 2:03pm

I am an unmedicated bi-polar 2, wondering what "state" I am in... Basically, I am

physically tired, but my mind is so active that I can't think straight. I am scared to

sleep at night(intrusive thoughts and images). My DH is always snapping at me b/c I am in

a fog,yet hyper, can't make even simple decisions, am talking too much, and am obsessed

with tiny unimportant details. Also, he has no desire for "intimacy" with me, but has

been visiting porn & private web cam/live chat sites, and those sites for "local

swingers" like "Fling".com where people advertise themselves for NSA sex. (For the

record, I am O.K. with the basic porn, but I do not like the "live chat with local girls"

type.)We have been married for 10 yrs.,but we are young, and I understand his "needs" and

I know that my "psycho" behavior is not exactly a turn-on. However, i am now obsessed

with the idea that he is going to leave me b/c I am just too crazy to put up with

anymore. His patience is gone, between his work, the kids, etc. He is always annoyed with

us. He said that I was like the "salesman in a used car lot that you avoid making eye

contact with, so that they won't come over and trap you into a conversation." He plays on

his little computer, works out a lot, but our interactions are mostly superficial:"what's

for dinner,etc." He is, at heart, a good man & I love him very much, but I am afraid that

I have broken his spirit. He sometimes says that I "look crazy" in the eyes. I do not

think he is at all attracted to me anymore, but I don't know...I know this sounds

like "mania", or "hypomania" but I don't feel that good happy feeling. It's more like the

feeling when you have been awake for 2 days, but are hungover& wired on too much coffee

or some kind of speed...I can't trust my own thoughts about this, so if anyone can

relate, please respond...(Thanks)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 2:18pm

BTDT!!!!! Believe it or not, usually when *I* get manic, it is not fun. I too have so much energy I can't concentrate or organize my thoughts, but I can be pretty miserable. I think you are having a manic episode like I get.

You might have to consider I/P, or at the very least an adjustment to your meds. Strong tranquilizers can often bring mania under control.

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 3:23pm

I'd say this is definitely mania, but the "mean" kind that just isn't fun!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 5:04pm

Hi,

I feel your pain. I also suffer from Bipolar. I was misdiagnosed (w/ dysthymia) for YEARS. You are probably in the manic phase. Have you seen a doctor? I would highly recommend it. There are (if you are open to them) medications out there that can help.

My doctor put me on Seroquel, and I have been able to sleep w/o those thoughts going through my head. That's what I take, but something else may be better for you.

The only thing I guess I can really hope that you do is get help from a doctor. Well, ok, one more thing... your boyfriend needs to do one of 2 things: try to learn more about your illness and be supportive, or get out!!!! My fiance has been very supportive and even goes w/ me to see my PCP. That is one of the most important things when someone has an illness. Don't get me wrong, you'll still have some not so great days, but it will get better with time and understanding. (that part is for YOU not him)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2007
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 2:24pm

I used to go off my meds when i got to a manic cycle, just for the energy after months of feeling lethargic.(This was before I was on lamictal). Almost always ended up in the hospital, but not before causing damage to myself and others; I also lost some dear friends not to mention a boyfriend or two. (I miss the friends more!) I agree with other posts that said this can really WEAR YOU DOWN physically and emotionally. Please, oh please, reconsider meds.

If you take care of yourself first and then focus on your marriage issues, it might not all seem too overwhelming to tackle. And it's NOT! You can and will get through all of this. It's up to you how long you want it to take, meds => quicker.

Lamictal has been known to treat bipolar successfully for those who are more on the depressive end. Personally, it has helped with the sluggishness/disthymia(sp?); and I haven't had a single manic episode in 3 years.

good luck! please keep us posted,
soosie




Edited 4/9/2007 2:36 pm ET by soosie.q