Still on a roller coaster ride

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2006
Still on a roller coaster ride
2
Fri, 03-30-2007 - 4:41pm
Well went to the therapist last Saturday and we talked some about my childhood...right away she said I need to get a book called "Bad Childhood- Good Life" I bought it off amazon but as soon as I read the back cover I started to feel anxious. Maybe I'm scared to go there...you know what I mean?
Anyway SO has been an ass this week. Totally flew off the hinges on Tuesday, called me every name he could think of, kicked me out of the house, took the car away and smashed my photo printer into the wall...oh and said he was calling child services on me.
These were all threats of course- except the name calling and smashing of items.
He goes on to say I'm crazy...go to bed your CRAZY...I can't sleep next to a CRAZY person...etc.
I know what all of you are thinking...WTF am I still doing there? Well I have no car and no money to leave right now. I do have a savings and I have money going in every paycheck.
He has "promised" to go to counseling to but I'm starting to think he needs meds too.
He pushed all the right buttons and I screamed and cursed and ran. I hate that he can control me like that and I am working very hard to control my emotions. But with this medication and all of life's everyday stress I can't deal. I cried all the way home on Wednesday and thought about suicide about 10 times that day.
I'm better now and he's back to normal but I dread even conversating with him because who knows when the next round will be...I have no real hope for a future there...Keep me in your prayers.
*Princess
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 11:49am

TRIGGERS


(((((Princess)))))


Honey,


You NEED to get out of there---NOW!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 4:39pm
You are in my prayers and thoughts. My mom was bi-polar, my SO has recently told me that he has been for years, unmedicated, but is now in a dark area..this is after I found the nastiest porn on the puter. My DD is getting tested for it.
I found more porn on line and other stuff of his, I did not rant and rave at him, I simply asked about it. His app. isnt until the end of the month, so I am being patient with things. But he said it has helped him with me knowing. I found out on DD birthday last month.
I know that it would not help him, or me for that matter to fight with him right now. why do that to either of us. I am sorry for what you are going through.
You are not a crazy person, this is the same thing I tell my SO when he says he is. That is one thing that pisses me the HE** right off. I worked along side my mom while she was still alive the work on changing the stigmatism of mental illness.
My advice would be to get out as soon as you can. He needs to get help for maybe his problem, or learn how to accept bi-polarism in a SO. If not, it will only hurt you in the long run, your 'recovery' time will never come so to speak.
I have offered to my SO to move out until he can get help, in case we are a form of the stress, I think it scares him more to think of going through it alone.
You need a good support, whether with SO or family, if you can instead of trying to go it alone. Do you have any family in the area? Do they know?
Many huggsss and keep us posted!