Wow

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wow
2
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 8:19pm

Things are really falling into place for me and somehow its a bit scary. My ds just got his first job...he's getting a car...my dh has his own business that is starting to pick up. My BP is stable and has been for the longest period of my entire life. I moved into a great townhouse...my marriage is back on track...I have IRL friends and a life again. I went through so much cycling before that its hard to imagine that the cycling has stopped.

Can anyone relate to that feeling? Sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve all this...but then again, I have worked SO HARD to get here. I really have. I guess the fact that I REALIZE that is progress and growth in and of itself.

I used to isolate myself from EVERYTHING. All aspects of my life...I lost a lot. I no longer have that need...the isolation. The depression is gone. Really gone. I never thought I'd be here. For some, the a/d's work miracles...for me, they made me suicidal. I was terrified to go off them, but once I did, the depression never came back. The manics are a bit easier to deal with than the low lows...for me they were. I used to want to be manic...omg. Now, I pray I never ever will be again.

Here I am...almost 37 years old...and I'm finally content with my life. Its a simple life...but its a happy one. We live simply, I don't have lavish or expensive things...but I am so incredibly blessed.

I've been told how strong I am, a million times over...and I used to want to HURT anyone who said that, lol. Inner strength is an amazing thing...we all have it. We just have to tap into it.

Hugs to all,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: keli003
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 2:46pm

I am really happy for you kiddo, you are doing real good by the sounds of it all, way to go.

Mary

Mary
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: keli003
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 2:50pm

wow keli, you sound really great.

Photobucket