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| Wed, 04-04-2007 - 8:19pm |
Things are really falling into place for me and somehow its a bit scary. My ds just got his first job...he's getting a car...my dh has his own business that is starting to pick up. My BP is stable and has been for the longest period of my entire life. I moved into a great townhouse...my marriage is back on track...I have IRL friends and a life again. I went through so much cycling before that its hard to imagine that the cycling has stopped.
Can anyone relate to that feeling? Sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve all this...but then again, I have worked SO HARD to get here. I really have. I guess the fact that I REALIZE that is progress and growth in and of itself.
I used to isolate myself from EVERYTHING. All aspects of my life...I lost a lot. I no longer have that need...the isolation. The depression is gone. Really gone. I never thought I'd be here. For some, the a/d's work miracles...for me, they made me suicidal. I was terrified to go off them, but once I did, the depression never came back. The manics are a bit easier to deal with than the low lows...for me they were. I used to want to be manic...omg. Now, I pray I never ever will be again.
Here I am...almost 37 years old...and I'm finally content with my life. Its a simple life...but its a happy one. We live simply, I don't have lavish or expensive things...but I am so incredibly blessed.
I've been told how strong I am, a million times over...and I used to want to HURT anyone who said that, lol. Inner strength is an amazing thing...we all have it. We just have to tap into it.
Hugs to all,
Keli

I am really happy for you kiddo, you are doing real good by the sounds of it all, way to go.
Mary
wow keli, you sound really great.