sexual issues...?????
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sexual issues...?????
| Thu, 04-05-2007 - 3:00pm |
where to begin??? well i have been on a/d since 2003, first lexapro, then changed to paxil last summer, weaned off paxil when dx'ed bp2 and went on lithium.


There are SO many antidepressants out there if it is indeed the lexapro. Is that an ssri? Those are known to lower sex drive. I've read that these boards are slow lately, esp near the weekend, but i'm sure someone will respnd soon with more advice.
Good luck megan,
soosie
Any BTDT?....well I was on your DH's side of the fence....long story, I can get into it if you're interested, but I was going to mention asking about Wellbutrin. It is supposed to BOOST the sex drive....didn't notice that with DW, but she was SOOO depressed when she started taking it that I don't think much would have made a difference at that point (hindsight being what it is!!!!).
I don't know if you have heard about or read this book, but I am going to recommend it anyway. It is called "The Five Love Languages" and has helped DW and I start to move on from a VERY dark period in our marriage. It explains what each persons "love language" is, what makes that one person feel the most loved. Some copies have a quiz in the back to help a person find out what love language they are....I HIGHLY recommend getting one of those copies.
I have to ask, also, is DH helping with the babies (from the picture I would say a little bit....that is cute BTW....DW has a picture of me with my arm around DS and both of us sound asleep on the couch). Is he helping out with housework, do you guys have a date night, is he giving you some me time? 16 mo is still pretty young and THAT isn't helping your sex drive any either....you are probably "touched out" by the time bed time rolls around, you probably are having troubles getting out of mommy mode and into hot lover wife mode, BUT, with all that being said, if your DH is "physical touch" (as I am) then the constant rejection of sex is felt as a rejection of him. He says disrespectful, I said DW didn't love me....either way it leads to a lot of tension and hurt feelings, anger, and resentment. We (your DH and myself) can understand on an intellectual level what is going on and that will even help us for a little while, but on an emotional level it hurts.
If DH IS helping and doing everything he can think of to help then I know from personal experience it cuts even deeper, if he ISN'T, shame on him and tell him a guy told you that, but at the same time, he may not be doing the things that make you feel loved and that is where the book will come in handy as it will give him pointers as to where to channel his energy. He can help all he wants, but if ALL you want is some quality time with him, you will say he isn't paying attention to you....if all you want are some encouraging words of affermation, you will say he isn't supporting you....and that is what I mean when I say the book will give him pointers.
I have been all over the place on this, but I have been on the other side and know how DH is feeling all to well so I am wanting to defend him some and also try and give you some insight as well....I am in NO WAY trying to place blame (that gets no one no where), I am NOT trying to make you feel bad, just trying to help. Like I said, if he is NOT helping, then I cannont defend him. I am not sure what to say to help, ask your doc about Wellbutrin, get that book and both of you read it, set up a date night and some time alone for yourself or what ever will give you some stress relief. I have seen some other people post about "training" yourself to think about sex, send sexy e-mail text messages to your DH, think about what you would like/used to like to do to him....keep sex in your thoughts a little more that will help turn things around, or so I have read.
Anyway, good luck and keep us posted,
tk
Depression can certainly zap your libido and some of the AD's can too.
tk....
thank you so much
thanks for the input, yes both lexapro and lithium have sexual side effects according to my 2005 nursing manual.
I have the same problem I try so hard to be interested but I am numb.
I wish you the best of luck talk w/ your med. doc sometimes they can cooroperate w/ your p doc.
Sparkleeyes..........
Live life well & Always look ahead.
Feel free to ask questions anytime. If you don't want to do it in an open forum then e-mail me through my profile. I hear so much of what DW and myself went through in your situation. I too am a physical touch person and in response to one of the other posters, even hearing it from a professional does not change the raw, emotional reaction one experiences to repeated rejection. I myself do not know if even increased physical touch would have alleviated the problems/emotions I was experiencing. I do know that sexual contact is the MOST fulfilling and loving of physical touch and means the most to me.
With all that being said, I also understand how depression can affect a person. I hear the depression talking when you say you don't feel like doing anything....hopefully if you can get the depression under control the will to do things will return. The being wiped out at the end of the day is not helped by the depression either. BTDT with ALL of the above.
You didn't really say if you guys have a date night or not. That is a BIG help in starting to reconnect....you get some quality time and he (hopefully) gets some more physical touch that doesn't have to lead to sex. I read somewhere that if schedules/child care etc. seem to be road blocks then pick a night and make it a "permanent" date. That way you can find a babysitter and have them scheduled for that day and time and both of you will clear your schedules for that day and time. Something to seriously think about.
Also BTDT with the differing schedules....I worked shift work and was on second shift allot which REALLY leads to ALL the parenting duties being shifted to the sah parent. It is a tough way to live, but it puts food on the table and roof over ones head which is what I was needing.
Anyway, good luck and I will help however I can.
tk