May I???????

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
May I???????
9
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 9:42pm

Hi girls...... my name is Jodi. I have a new friend that has bipolar and I am really interested on knowing more about it.


Can any of you girls help me or guide me in the right direction?I don't have a clue on what she goes through but would love to learn so that I can be there for her the best that I can.


Thanks a bunch!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
In reply to: jojodijo
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 11:32am




Hi Jodi and welcome to our board. Yes, you are welcome to our board any time. As for what you can do for your friend, that is a difficult question. The best answer I can give is to be there for her as best you can. She is going to have ups and downs that can be severe. There are organizations on the web that our other cl has and I'm sure she would be happy to provide them to you. I think one of the is NAMI.org but i'm not possitive. The information recieved from the two sites that Marci has will be very beneficial to you.


When your friend is in a down mood, just be there for her so she has someone to call or see to help keep her mind off of going to any extreme measures. I was there not too long ago and had it not been for

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: jojodijo
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 11:45am

Thank you so much for responding. I wasn't actually sure what bipolar was but now I think I have a better understanding. I've been reading alot about it.


I actually may tell her about this board. I just don't know how she would handle it with me telling her. I recently met her through another board that I am on. Her and I both went through a very tragic way of having our babies and loosing them at the same time, so tragic that I thought no one would ever have gone through what I did....but come to find out she went through it exactly how I did. I have a feeling our babies brought us together and I think I need to be there for her as she will be here for me as I grieve through my loss.


Again thank you so much and any information you can send me my way would be wonderful!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
In reply to: jojodijo
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 12:33pm
I am so sorry for both your losses. My ex disappeared with my son 5 years ago. I know that does not compare to what you have been through but youre not alone. My DH first child(ren), a set of twins was still born. that was 22 years ago and he still grieves for his lose.
He is also bi-polar. I did not know this. I found out the hard way and it almost cost us our marriage. He is actually at the doc right now. But my mom was bi-polar. wow, the ups and downs that she had. I did not know, nor did she that she was bi-polar until her later years. We lost her in decemeber, but she turned her illness around for the bestter. she worked with NAMI to change the stgmatism that is associated with MI and did a whole heck of a lot of things that wont fit on this page. I was and still am very proud of her.
My DH was diagnosed years before we got together, so I had no idea that he was. He is a difficult man to live with however I called it his time of the month. A part of me feels betrayed because my life is really not at all what I thought that it is. I am still here though. That is the most important thing, to be there for someone who is suffering from MI.
Your friend will go through many changes while trying to find out what meds work for her. Not all of them work well for everyone. Hold her hand while she cries, or talk to her online..listen while she is angry. Never take anything personally if she is hateful to anyone, I learned that years ago.
I recently read a book that was recomended, it is called An Unquite Mind by Kay Redfield Jameson.. it is a great book. It talks openly about her major manic episodes. DOnt let it scare you. and I read the Everything Health Guide to Bi polar disorder by Jon P. Bloch. The begining helped me to understand the different types of bi-polar disorder. It can get comlicated however.. I never finished the book.
Your friend is very lucky to have you. Keep us posted and encourage her to post here as well. good luck..susie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: jojodijo
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 1:16pm

oh my sweetie...you have been through a lot. Please let me know if I say anything wrong....I am still learning.


I appreciate you giving me recommendations to books. I definitely will look into them.


Have you seen your son? That must be so painful. I can't imagine your heartache. I believe it is the same. Anytime you get your children taken away from you is so horrifying and painful. I wish no person would ever have to experience such a thing.


And for your husband....that is such a hard thing to go through. My cousin also just went through a stillborn. Again why????? Why does it happen but it may never be answered.


Does bipolar come when you go through a lot like depression or is it genetic??? (did I ask that right?)


I guess right now is all I can do is be there for her. I just feel like it's not enough.


I definitely am not scared away by this. She is still a person and now my friend.


The only thing that scares me is if I visit her for my first time she freaks out on me. Does that happen???? See I don't know........and if it did then what do I do??????


Does this make any sense at all?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
In reply to: jojodijo
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 2:21pm

ahh dont worry about saying anythign wrong to me..hehehehe

Lets see, this xmas it marked 5 years of not knowing where my son is. I had heard once where someone had last heard from him at..however the court system here will not help, they said even if he came back to this state, they could not force hiim to give me back my son. I looked for a few years until I was broke and saw what it was doing to my other kids. I am all for if the father is a better parent then the courts could give him the child, however he did not want to wait around ot find out. the sad thing is the courts were letting him fight for one of my other kids as well, one that wasnt even his... how wack is that? If I were to go in right now and say, hey Im your mom, it would tramautize him. so I sit and wait patiently, God will give my ex his just punishemnt. I have 10 years till he turns 18 and then I can give him my side of the story if Ican find him.

I have been told that MI is hereditary, however, there are also life triggers than can cause MI. Bad divorce, loss of a child or parent, etc..What ever would trigger the chemical imbalance.

I think that still baorn and SIDS death are extremely traumatic to anyone who has experienced it and my heart go out to all. everyone says.. ahh you can try again but ya know maybe they dont want to, maybe they want the baby they loved for 9 months inside of them back ya know?

As for different mood swings, with my mom I would call ahead before I went to her house while I still lived close and see how she was doing before I took the kids over. I was living 3 hours away and would plan on her coming for a visit, go to pick her up and she would be very angry and not come. The hardest thing was the fact that I knew she didnt understand herself where the anger was coming from. The smallest thing could set her off as well. We went to the dog pound one time to adopt a dog and werent able to get the one we wanted and that set her off. A bill that she got every month would set her off, the littlest thing that you or I would not understand why it was such a big deal would freak her out. My DH is the same. say if trash is not taken out right away or ice trays are not done yet, or if DD was going to through a half of a piece of pizza away he would fly into a rage that would have the kids in tears and me ready to beat him over the head. If I would say ok thats enough, he would then turn it on me. I have seen the same man break down in tears over what would seem like nothing signifigant.

Everything that you said makes sense. when my mom would freak, I would tell her ok mom I love you ill call you later, as she was throwing something at the door as I left. I would hold her while she cried from the pain her body was litterally going through during these times. My DH is the same. You hold your head up and say Im here whenever you need me and are ready to talk. If you think she is a danger to herlself or others, call for help.

you are obviously a wonderful person. I know mom lost alot of friends cuase they thought she was a freak because of this. My DH will not tell his work or family or friends about it for fear of judgement. His family would definelty judge him, his friends probably not because one of them is suffereing depression now also.

If you need anything you can email me direct if you want at drop-a-tot@hotmail.com

Its a learning process for all that is involved!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: jojodijo
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 5:30pm

Jodi,


Big thank you's for wanting to be there for your friend when you are both experiencing such a horrible loss.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: jojodijo
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 10:56am

Sorry it took me so long to write you back.


Thank you for all the info you are providing me. I really appreciate it. I told her about your board and how super nice you girls were. She is excited so I hope she comes to join you all. As for me, please do not take it personal if I am dragging my feet. My son's due date is on Saturday and I have been taking it very bad. I think I am sinking back into depression which kills me. I know he is up in Heaven looking down on me so I need to be strong, but it's hard.


I am such a birthday freak. When it's my birthday everyone knows. Well now I just don't want my birthday to come anymore. Everyone use to tease me about him being born on my birthday, well now I wish he was. My birthday was on the 3rd and ever since that day I have been moping around.


I have a spa day planned this weekend so hopefully that goes well. Except my period seems to be coming

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
In reply to: jojodijo
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 11:13pm

Hi, Jodi! I personally think that it's a wonderful thing that you are interested in educating yourself so you can help your friend. I think the biggest thing is attempting to understand, which is difficult when she herself probably can't explain it to you very well. It's really hard to be able to tell somebody how it feels when you're going through a manic phase or why you're so unconsolable during a depressive phase. It's kinda like tunnel vision for me: I can see what's triggered my sadness or what I am saying or doing wrong, but I feel so far removed from it, I can't seem to fix it.

I haven't visited the other site that was mentioned, but this one has been helpful to me:
www.nimh.nih.gov

Keep plugging away. There is alot of information to wade through from alot of different sources.

~Dawn

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: jojodijo
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 3:11pm

I just wanted to stop by and say thank you for all of your information that you gave me. I've been reading up on it and I believe I have a better underdstanding. It hurts me so much to know that people have to experience such a horrible illness. But to someone like me who knew nothing about it, it really made me open my eyes. I appreciate it!


Big hugs to all of you!


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