I didn't want to come home

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
I didn't want to come home
4
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 9:35am

I left to go see my tdoc yesterday and on my way to my appointment at 10:30 am I was thinking about going to the bar afterwards and having a few drinks...I never do this, but it came in my mind that I didn't want to come home. I didn't go to the bar.


Then after my appt. I wanted to go to Ocean City Maryland...I live in Maryland but it takes 2 1/2- 3 hours for me to get there. I wouldn't be able to stay over night because I had no money for a motel and by this time it was already 12:30 and I went back and forth in my mind whether to go or not, finally at 3 pm I decided it was too late. But I still didn't want to come home. I went to the library for a couple hours. I stayed away until 6:30pm and I was so tired I couldn't drive anymore. I felt like someone was trying to kill me making me come home. The closer I go to my front door the more dread I felt. I opened the door and seen my bf sitting on the sofa and he says " I been sick all day and feel bad" I felt like saying whats new. Anyway I am not feeling very happy with my life or my relationship. I feel trapped and I am very depressed.


I need to get away. I just wanted to drive and never come back but I knew I couldn't do that. If I had the money I would but I don't so I am stuck right where I am. I really hate this.


Thanks for reading, I needed to get some feelings out.


Tina




     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 6:04pm

Hey sweetie. You hang in there...I'm going to email you in a few minutes...I love you.

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 9:30pm

Thanks you sweet Keli, I got your e-mail and sent you one back.


Love ya !


Tina




     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 5:49pm

*hugs*

I know how you feel...the desire to escape your life and never look back. I know it's hard to see when you are in the middle of it, but it will get better eventually. You might not end up with the results you think you wanted, but you'll get what you were supposed to get. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 11:08am

((((Tina)))) I can totally relate to you on this one. There have been many times where I have dreaded the thought of coming home. I love my children dearly, but there are times where it's just overwhelming to come home and face the familial setting. Living with my mother gets to me more than anything I think. I hope you're feeling better today.


Hugs,
Traci