Think boyfriend may be bipolar...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
Think boyfriend may be bipolar...
9
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 2:06pm

...not sure. I know for an official diagnosis he'd have to see a proffesional, which he will not do. So I am just trying to get some insight or answers. Thanks!

His basic month: One day he'll be caring, generous, giving, loving. The next day he'll be quiet and maybe hyper. The next day mellow. The next day angry and hates the world. Then caring. Then belittling and vendictive. Then delusional and paranoid. Then hyper... you get the picture.

Does that sound like possible BD or does it sound like anything else that you know of?
Thank you so much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 2:16pm

It does sound like possible bipolar. But if he won't see a professional you have a REAL problem on your hands! Not only would a professional offer the proper dx, he or she would also really be your only hope for proper treatment. Whatever his problem is, it does sound like he does need help.

Best of luck to you. I do not envy your position.

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 9:57pm
Hi I can't answer your question about a diagnose. I can tell you I know someone who does similar things and it is beyond frustrating. He is paranoid about food, one day he loves me and the next week God tells him not to be with me. Sometimes he is so great, the next day he is an a**. Sometimes he sees a professional for one appointment, and then doesn't go again for a month. I don't think he is really commited yet to getting better, and it is really hard - so I can relate to your post. Hang in there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 7:26am
Thanks Beth, I agree he does need some help. I was talking to his daughter that just learned yesterday that her boyfriend is bi-polar, then she mentioned her dad and that his ex-wife thinks he's bi-polar.... hmmm. I didn't say anything to her, but felt kind of relieved that I am not the only one that picked up on this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 7:36am

Wow girl, I hear you! you wrote:

"He is paranoid about food"

- same here, sometimes he won't eat. He also has paranoias about other things. He told me yesterday that he wants to get another gun because of some noises in the garage, but he already has one.

"one day he loves me and the next week God tells him not to be with me"

- similar, but he'll tell me God wants us to be together and then accuses me of not worshiping God???

"Sometimes he is so great, the next day he is an a**."

- totally

"Sometimes he sees a professional for one appointment, and then doesn't go again for a month."

- although mine will not seek a therapist he sees his GP for xanax. Sometimes he goes, sometimes he doesn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2006
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 12:38am
It sounds like a mood dissorder.
He needs help it's really hard to control yourself when your bp and unstable.
Being untreated is the worst, let him know what you think.
Also prepare yourself the mood swings don't always stop.
It all really depends on whats wrong.

Sparkleeyes..........

Live life well & Always look ahead.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sat, 05-12-2007 - 11:29am

I agree with what's already been said. You've got to try to get him to see that he needs help. Point out the fact that he wouldn't need the xanax if there wasn't an ongoing problem. Offer to go with him if he would like you to. Do this on the days where he is accepting of your relationship, not on the days where he's being a butt head. I know it's a hard subject to bring up, especially if he's not open to the idea. Stigma is often times the reason for this. I know it took me a long time to get my mind around the fact that I was bipolar. I had accepted that I was depressed because I had just been divorced but 3 years after that when I started showing signs of mania since high school and was diagnosed with bipolar I would not accept it for anything. And it was because of the stigma attached to it. My tdoc finally got it through my thick skull that there was nothing wrong with being bipolar and that many great people were in fact bipolar. And that she knew other tdocs that were bipolar and successful ones at that. Point that out to him.


It's important that he get help, but it will only work if he is open to the idea. That's the key. HE has to be willing. Without that, it would be nothing more than a waste of time and money if he even goes as far as going to a pdoc or tdoc.


Good luck and hang in there. We're here for support. So vent as often as you need/want to. Ask any questions that you think of and we'll answer them to the best of our ability.


Hugs,
Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 8:17am

Thanks Traci-

Your response is very helpful! ;) This weekend I didn't even say anything, and he said he has a problem with moods. I just left it at that. If his mood stays good and open maybe I will make a suggestion for help.

Thanks again

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 11:04pm
Since your boyfriend and he guy I wrote about seem similar - I wanted to write to you and see how you are doing. I can't email you through your profile, but I think you can email me through mine if you want to chat. Anyway, do you live with him? How long have you known him? Does he criticize and judge things you do? I just am trying to get information and learn I guess. I have been having a hard time with what the guy I know has done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2007
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 2:44pm

I, too, agree with everything that's been said. I could barely stand myself before I was diagnosed and began treatment, let alone now when mania or depression sets in! I can only imagine trying to help someone else with BP - if that's what he has. :( I hope you can convince him to seek treatment.

"one day he loves me and the next week God tells him not to be with me"

Oh, yes, I've told my boyfriend on more than one occassion that God wants us to split up.

Alicia
www.mentalhealthnotes.com