hi,i'm new here/may trigger

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
hi,i'm new here/may trigger
12
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 4:35pm
hi,everyone my name is laura but i go by lulu.i was dxs on may 18 with bi-polar/manic and aniexty disorder.i'm 32 married for 13 years and i have 2 son's ages 2 and 5.i have had a hard time the last few years i lost my mom to suicide and my grandmother all in one month plus gave birth to my last child all at the same time.i recently had to quit my job due to my aniexty and i don't go to get my meds till the 29th of this month.my mother was also bi-polar/manic depressive.i belong to other groups on ivillage.and i would love to join this group and learn more about my dx.i live in north carolina.well thats about it for me.hope to hear from any of you soon,lulu

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 1:36pm

Lulu,


Welcome to the board, I'm glad you found us!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 3:25pm
hi,thank you for welcoming me.i have been given it alot of thought to apply for disability.see after i quit my part-time job i went to another and it seems i'm still having aniexty and just so many emotions there too.i just don't know how i'm gonna continue when everything i try seems to have something that triggers in me,either fear,aniexty,crying,feeling scared,alone, at my jobs lately.i feel like a mess.the doc that dx me thinks that with meds i'll be totally cured and could work and have a better outcome than my mom.but the problem is this the damage is done and meds my help but its the life experiences i've been dealing with since a child.i worry a year from now if i'm not going to be able to work and how will i pay for meds with no insurance and two kids to feed.do doctors not understand that working stresses people out more that already have a mental problem.i think if i could get disability it would help me out alot in that catagory.when i was a child i ended up in foster homes,sexual abuse,raped by two men at 13,went thru some kinda break down at 19 after getting married,saw a man choke to death,seen a man get kicked in the face and stabbed,saw a man get his face smashed in by a huge rock as a child,seen a baby get run over by a truck as a child,seen my mom beat up many times and hospitilized,watched her try to kill herself many times,dealt with her being an alcoholic, and then the icing on the cake my grandma died of lung cancer while i was still in the hospital giving birth to my last child,then 36 days later my mom commited suicide and of course i went straight in there and was forever changed seeing her that way.i tell ya sometimes i wonder how i'm still functioning.i just wonder if i could or should try for my disability.i've been to mental health for depression off and on since 1994.my doctor says that i have been misdiagonized all these years(now i have to deal with depression,bi-polar,manic and aniexty)please write back and tell me your thoughts it sure would mean alot to me.....thanks and many hugs,lulu
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 5:43pm

Lulu,


I know what you mean about dealing with those life experiences, although some of the details are different for me, they radically change the way we experience life and at the garnd old age of 53 I'm still dealing with the fall-out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 12:12am
thank you so much for all your imput.if my doc that dx me but will not be seeing me again would an attorny just ask for my records.will it then go to my metal health counselors from there for my records.i wonder if you have to be dx for a certain amount of time before applying.i just don't know what all i'll need to apply.hugs to you,lulu
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 05-23-2007 - 12:11pm

You don't have to be dx'd any particular amount of time--they will almost certainly deny your initial request no matter what.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2007
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 6:43am

"I went out on disability when I was dx'd--I don't think I would have made it otherwise. I thought it would just be temporary, but other problems have kept me off--it was a big hit to my self-esteem at the time, but I'm gradually realizing there is more to me than my job."

Ain't that the truth. My mom recently applied for disability after 25+ years in the workforce due to depression, anxiety, and fibromyalgia (sp?) and we all thought she'd lose her mind. She kind of did at first, but now she's involved in things she enjoys, has time to pursue hobbies she wanted to get into, and told me just yesterday that "there's more to life than a job."

Anyway, welcome Lulu! I've only been here for about a week, but I can already tell you you'll find the support and compassion here that you're looking for ;) In fact, it seems you already are. :)

Alicia
www.mentalhealthnotes.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 12:30pm
thank you dear for your reply.i guess my pride and lack of knowledge of the system keeps me from filing.i don't really feel like doctors around here will help someone thats 32 and thinks meds will help them,i think they just think maybe your full of it,but if they would bother to look maybe they would see where i'm coming from.do you go to a doc and say look i'm sick i need to file for disability-see i have no clue to how this all works.thanks,lulu
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2007
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 12:45pm

Don't feel bad honey, lots of doctors around here think lots of people are full of it - the problem here is that many folks actually are full of it. They leave high school with the goal of getting on some kind of check like their parents. Then their kids do it, then theirs, and so on and so forth. (Reasons vary from drug addiction to no work ethic and everything in between.)

It's a vicious cycle, it's sad, and the people who really do need disability, social security, or any other kind of assistance are the ones that suffer from it.

You just keep on trying for what you need and deserve!

Alicia
www.mentalhealthnotes.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 1:30am
thank you.as you can see i can't sleep tonight.i go to see about my new meds this morning in about 9 hours.guess i'm a little nervous you could say.i couldn't go to work yesterday i had to call in sick.i stayed in bed most of the day.i just felt so fatigued and still do and just plain old sick.well i hope for a good outlook for this morning.hugs,lulu
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2007
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 6:05am
Good luck and let us know how it goes at the doctor!

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