Mom of BP daughter

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2002
Mom of BP daughter
6
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 3:53am

My sweet daughter, who is 24, was diagnosed with BP just 2 weeks ago.





iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 7:51am

Hello and welcome. Your daughter is at the beginning of a long and hard road, but she has the correct diagnosis hopefully, so if that is in order that is definitely a plus. Now, it is too soon to tell if she will be able to finish school, hold down a job, etc., but the chances are good that those things can happen with a lot of work.

I was dxed bp when I was 20, near the end of my junior year in college. After that, my senior year took four years to complete. I was in and out of the hospital all the time. When I graduated, I took some rinkydink customer service job that only came to me after several months of looking (I was working alongside many people who did not share my college degree.) I had that job for two years, but I continued my revolving hospital door pattern. I eventually lost that job because I missed too much time. While I was out of work, I was pretty manicky- at the time, I was seeing some crazy doc that took me off mood stabilizers saying I wasn't really bp. Thank goodness I stopped going to him because he was sexually harrassing me. A new doc got me back on proper meds, but before my mania wore off, I got some crazy idea of going to grad school. I applied, got in, fast forward to two years later (during which time I became stable again!), and I had a master's! Yay! And THIS time I got my degree on schedule!

Long story short, all in all, it took me nine years and many new medicines coming on the market before I became stable for any period of time. The statistics is that it can take an average of ten years before any given bp patient finds just the right meds for him/her. Those ten odd years in the meantime can be a very bumpy road. But the right attitude is to fight, fight, fight!

You, as a mother, will be very important to your daughter. And it will be very hard for you. I know, I was a holy terror to my parents. They even threw me out once. Try to understand, if your daughter is being difficult, it's not her, it's her disease. She needs your help if you can help her.

Good luck to you, your daughter, and your whole family.

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 11:28pm

A,


Bless you for being there for her (and I know we can sometimes frustrate a saint, although we don't do so intentionally)!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2006
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 2:31pm

Hi! My name is Jena and I am Bipolar. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know when I am having a rough time my Mom worries also. All you can do is be there for her and if you are a spiritual person pray for her. When I first got diagnosed, I was put on Depakote also. At first it kind of took my personality away and I slowed way down in my thought process. I would draw a blank a lot of times and just kind of stare at things. It was really quite sad. Not to scare you, but I also gained close to 125 lbs on Depakote. Depakote is a wonderful medication for some people and she probably is just getting used to the side effects. And being in the hospital for mental health issues is very stressful so she's probably dealing with that. I wish you and your daughter well. ALways come back here if you need support.

Jena

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 11:01pm
I was diagnosed with BPD in my late-30's. My oldest ds was dx'ed at 23yo; my youngest dd was 15yo; my youngest ds was 14yo. The kind of thing you are talking about is very common when starting a new med. You should start to see an improvement after two or three weeks. It should be mostly normal again after 6 weeks. If not, the med may need a tweek or a change so she'll want to talk to her doc about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2002
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 1:37am

Thanks so much for your kind responses.





iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 10:04am
I am sorry for your trouble. I have been there. My 17y ds was diagnosed with Bipolar II in January - the first couple of months on medicatin was very difficult. He was on Lithium, Geodone, Zoloft and Lamictal. Getting him up and focused was a He shuffled around and seemed to be in a bit of a daze for several months. It takes time! Be patient with her. He just recently came off the Lithium and there is a marked difference in his alertness - but although he seems more clear headed he is also more irritable and difficult. The only advice I can give is to stay strong and patient. Do what you can to take care of yourself - because you will need to be strong for your daughter. This prayer has helped me more that once: Dig deep for the courage and fortifute to get through the dark days. Find a corner of the world to be alone for a few minutes and cry. Find some humor in the depths of the hell that you are in. Grin. Laugh wherever you can. Cry some more. Put on a rock solid front of strenght and certainty like a lustrous strand of pearls. Love your child. Above all else, Love your child. Tell them everything will be ok until they believe it - even when you don't. You are the frayed strand of hope and love that they will cling to in their darkest hour. God Bless