Hi guys i'm new to this stuff....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Hi guys i'm new to this stuff....
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 9:25pm
Hi all, I was busy posting a message on the eating disorders boards about how bad my boyfriends eating disorders have got and i decided to take some time out to chat about me.
I'm suffering so bad with my bi-polar at the moment and i'm terribly depressed. I only recently come off my anti depressants (after taking them for a year) on advice of my doc but i'm beginning to regret it. I thought i could cope with my mood stabilizers alone but things seem to be going from bad to worse. Well this week they have anyway. Last week was good...sound familiar?
I've been putting unnecessary pressure on my boyfriend about everything on the planet. He really doesnt need it and he certainly would be better off without me at this time. I'm trying to ride this self destructing mood out but i cant see an end. I'm terrified of losing him as he truly is the love of my life. He totally underestimates the severity of my bi-polar although i try and make him aware as best i can, he still tells me theres nothing wrong with me. He does try to be there for me though.
I struggle everyday to keep my life on track as well as bringing up 3 children alone(my bf and i dont live together) and keeping a happy relationship. I have the best boyfriend ever and im so scared of losing him through some silly mistake that ive made. I dont want to make him hate me but im sure he will eventually.
I dont feel like giving up just yet but i dont want it to get that bad.
When will this cycle end?