A miserable day

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
A miserable day
3
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 9:46pm

I am very depressed today. I think it is because I am not sleeping well at all. I have been extremely tearful the past few days but today is worse. I see pdoc Tuesday. I think I need meds changed or something....don't know. I am trying to help my sister through tough times she is having and has been having for years. I am trying to help my dd through tough times she is having. Trying to help everyone and still do things for myself. I am so tired. The lupus symptoms make me so fatigued. I have to get blood work checked to see how my inflammation is doing in my system, get my sugar checked and some other things as well.


There are some good things happening but there are some things that are making me sad.


Sometimes I am so in love with my bf, whom I have been with for 6 years, and then there are times I feel unhappy in the relationship. This is nothing new. I go through this. I am not sure why I go through these mixed emotions frequently. Maybe this is normal. I bought us the book "The five love languages" he keeps telling me we will sit down and read it together. We haven't yet. He hasn't done it the times I have asked to. He puts it off. There is always something else going on.


Like I just asked my bf if he could help me with $36.00. I accidently went over on my bank account which I never do. He acted like I was asking for 3,000. He was telling me how broke he is, blah, blah, blah. But he has money for cigeretts and other things. There is no food in the house. I have bought food several times. I am on disability and have very little income so it is hard for me to pay my own bills and buy food for 3 people, my bf, his brother and myself. So I started buying myself food and putting my name on it the past 2 weeks.


My bf pays the rent and all the other house bills, so I feel I have no right to complain. I buy my own cloths when I can, not often and other personal needs. I try very hard to never ask him for anything. I just get the

     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 7:34pm

“...there's nothing, repeat, nothing to be ashamed of when you're going through a depression. If you get help, the chances of your licking it ar

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 8:13pm

Thank you for responding. I deeply appreciate it. It is always nice to know someone cares doesn't it?


I am doing better. My bf and I got everything straight. I misunderstood some things. He has been under a lot of stress and didn't mean to come across to me like he did. He is also having problems getting his brother to do his part in the house and he may have to kick him out.


The doctors went ok. I got blood work done Monday and I am waiting for the results. I am tired and am trying to take a rest day today. If I don't do this my body will force me to stay in bed. The lupus symptoms kick my butt, especially the fatique.


Thanks again for responding.


Tina

     ~ Tina ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 10:13pm

Tina,


By the time I read this you'd already posted you'd talked to your BF, so I'm glad, that, at least is going better.


I SO hear you on the fatigue, wish I had a good answer, but will hope your doc is on the ball and gives you the best care possible AND that it quickly alleviates some of the pain & tiredness.


I know you want to help both DD and your sis, but remember you'll be no good to either of them, if you wear yourself out completely.