Torn

Hi everyone. I am feeling very overwhelmed. Me and my husband have very different opinion on what is the right thing to do when it comes to our daughter who was born with a cleft lip and palate. She has had three surgeries so far. Two as an infant and one when she was almost four. It took me two years to get him to agree to having her last surgery which should have been done when she was a little over a year old. We had some problems at the hospital which caused him anxiety about moving forward. She still has a small hold in the roof of her mouth and the palate does not reach the back of her throat which is important for her speech. They told us at her last appointment that she would need to have a pharyngeal flap surgery to fix the problem. This appointment was very hard bc the ent was being really rough with het to the point I said something to him. He got rude but when I showed him that there was s better way to go about handling her he saw I was right and apologized. Me and my husband were very upset seeing our little one so scared and stressed out. We were suppose to have an appointment a few month ago and my husband made me cancel it and a few months before that and he made me cancel that one as well. I think that one bad appointment should not keep us,from keeping up with her appointment. I just want to do what is best for my daughters future. I know I was right to push him for her last surgery and he even apologized for how he. acted but I just feel anxious thinking about having to go through all that over again. he gets so mad if I bring any of her. appointments up to him. I don't know what to do. I don't want him to resent me. I also don't want to feel. like I failed to do the right thing for our little girl. I don't think he wants to be this way I just think. he has a lot of anxiety about it all. wish it was easier. I donno what to do from here. feeling very torn.