When are you having kids?

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w0rdg1rl
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2010
When are you having kids?
12
 Wed, 08-24-2011 - 4:26pm

I'm sure this has been asked here before, but I'd love to read some of your best answers to this horribly invasive question.

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bagpipe_mouse
Community Leader
Registered: 07-19-2005
In reply to: w0rdg1rl
Re: When are you having kids?
 Wed, 08-24-2011 - 5:02pm
I've found that "We don't have any plans in that direction" is a good answer. For some people, it allows them the comfort of thinking that you may have plans some day, but just not right now. Of course, some people will press, and then my answer is, "my husband and I feel that procreation is a very private thing, and we don't discuss it with people outside the marriage. We know you'll want to respect our privacy."
sadkitty70
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2009
In reply to: w0rdg1rl
Re: When are you having kids?
 Thu, 08-25-2011 - 11:38pm
I get asked this all the time..oddly my answer shuts people up and I get left alone. I just say, I have never wanted kids. I still dont want kids. I don't enjoy them and I know I wouldn't be happy being a mom. Im not willing to make sacrifices for kids. If that makes me selfish, then yes, Im selfish. But at least Im not bringing children into the world when I don't want them. Its not fair to me and its not fair to them.

People just look at me and say wow, at least you're honest! I never get bugged again. Its weird.
ivh_lion
Community Leader
Registered: 12-01-2001
In reply to: w0rdg1rl
Re: When are you having kids?
 Sat, 09-24-2011 - 3:40pm
Oddly, I don't have a response I use universally. One would think I'd have an immediate, rehearsed response now, but sometimes the question still catches me off guard. Bagpipe_mouse, I like your simple "We don't have plans" response a lot. Many times, the question comes from a complete stranger, and that's when I'm most likely to just stare dumbfounded at the person for having the audacity to ask something like that. Other times, I base my response on what I know about the person. If I know the person has been trying to have children but hasn't yet, I keep it vague. If I know the person well, I might add a few more details. But I'm at a point in my life where I'm tired of answering the question, so I try to keep the response as short as possible. :)

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kaloanco
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: w0rdg1rl
Re: When are you having kids?
 Sun, 10-09-2011 - 1:44pm

I haven't been asked that in a long time, maybe because I'm single (not like that's stopped anyone before!)

soontobemrs_beau
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
In reply to: w0rdg1rl
Re: When are you having kids?
 Tue, 10-25-2011 - 5:49pm

p
emly1977
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2011
In reply to: w0rdg1rl
Re: When are you having kids?
 Wed, 11-16-2011 - 8:41pm
I get asked all the time....it is starting to drive me mad. I had someone ask me the other day if I was having problems conceiving....and I hardly know this person. I told them no, I am sure I could have a child just fine, I just don't want any!!
jeeoran
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2011
In reply to: w0rdg1rl
Re: When are you having kids?
 Sat, 12-24-2011 - 1:09am
very early to ask
lindsayt05
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2005
In reply to: w0rdg1rl
Re: When are you having kids?
 Sun, 01-08-2012 - 9:56am

I get asked quite a lot, driving me mad!! Strange thing is, I've told some of my friends before, but they still ask me as though they can't remember my answer, or think I'd change my mind. Then they would tell me, 'it's good to have children. I think u should have children...."

I still struggle with the right answer. Hence, I stay away from old friends' gathering, or prepare how I'm gonna answer when I'm meeting them. But when I'm caught off-guard, and they press on, it really drives me crazy!!!

rebeccaagnes
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2012
In reply to: w0rdg1rl
Re: When are you having kids?
 Mon, 01-09-2012 - 7:11pm
who asks that question!? I always used, "I'll be sure to let you know if anything changes". I never felt like it was anyone's business how I felt about the entire issue... It worked with "why aren' you married yet?", too.
rebeccaagnes
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2012
In reply to: w0rdg1rl
Re: When are you having kids?
 Mon, 01-09-2012 - 7:24pm
don't let it drive you mad. It really shouldn't go beyond..." no plans right now, but I'll let you know if anything changes." And that's it. If someone presses, just brush it off... "I said I'd let you know if anything changes. I promise I will." These aren't topics of conversation that you are obligated to engage in... or argue about, or really entertain at all. It never really bothered me but I never talked about it either. You don't owe anyone a conversation about this....

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