Rant... :(
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Rant... :(
| Mon, 08-29-2011 - 12:01pm |
Just needed a place to rant really, sorry ladies as I didn't think other people would really understand and I feel a little of the 'poor me' mentality coming out if I tell people who don't understand my situation.
So I read that Beyonce is pregnant and she said 'I always said that I would be have a child by the time I'm 30; I'm 29 now.'. Well good for her but that comment has made me feel like I've been stabbed in the heart and had the wind taken out of me. The woman who seemingly has everything, just got a little more. Yes I'm probably envious in my natural being; ive always said that I wanted to have a child by the time I'm 30 but I'm now 31, diagnosed with unexplained infertility, never been pregnant so there is nothing 'physically' telling me it's going to be possible after nearly 3 and a half years.
Why does life seem so unfair sometimes????? The haves keep getting and the have nots just miss out!!!???!!!
I know I'm having a pity party; after some time I will calm down and regain perspective; Beyonce's comment struck a very raw nerve.
Hope all you ladies are well. I'm currently on a 5 week holiday which is good as I've realised I currently 'like' being away from my 'normal' life at the moment as 'normality' consists of being surrounded by pregnant people-there's no getting away from them!!!!!!!!! Sigh
Thanks for listening. God is still good; I just needed a place to let off some steam! X
So I read that Beyonce is pregnant and she said 'I always said that I would be have a child by the time I'm 30; I'm 29 now.'. Well good for her but that comment has made me feel like I've been stabbed in the heart and had the wind taken out of me. The woman who seemingly has everything, just got a little more. Yes I'm probably envious in my natural being; ive always said that I wanted to have a child by the time I'm 30 but I'm now 31, diagnosed with unexplained infertility, never been pregnant so there is nothing 'physically' telling me it's going to be possible after nearly 3 and a half years.
Why does life seem so unfair sometimes????? The haves keep getting and the have nots just miss out!!!???!!!
I know I'm having a pity party; after some time I will calm down and regain perspective; Beyonce's comment struck a very raw nerve.
Hope all you ladies are well. I'm currently on a 5 week holiday which is good as I've realised I currently 'like' being away from my 'normal' life at the moment as 'normality' consists of being surrounded by pregnant people-there's no getting away from them!!!!!!!!! Sigh
Thanks for listening. God is still good; I just needed a place to let off some steam! X
I totally feel where you are coming from. Those kind of comments from people that get pregnant easily are very frustrating. Try to keep in mind that people that get pregnant easily most of the time cannot understand what it is like to not be able to get pregnant. They take for granted that it just happens when you want it to. One thing I have come to realize through my TTC journey is that God has chosen us (women who do not get pregnant at the drop of a hat) to be the advocates for those like us that struggle and the compassionate people to refute those that do not understand. If I had not gone through almost 2 years now of TTC and gone through the pain, the heartache, the disappointments cycle after cycle....I would probably be just like Beyonce or others who think it is just so easy. I would rather have gone through my experience, the pain, the heartache, the disappointments and have come out a more loving, kind, sympathetic person - than to be oblivious and ignorant to the pain that people deal with. Wouldn't you? We all need to change our mentality about TTC and see that the Lord has actually blessed us greatly by growing us through our journeys.
That being said, I totally feel your frustration when you hear people say things like that, it gives me a "my heart is in my stomach" feeling too.
You are blessed, and when you get your little one that you hope for, you will love that little one more than you can imagine because you have gone through what you have.
Blessings,
Kelly