How frustrating that must be. Has your DH explained to her that this is the choice the two of you made and then asked her to leave it alone? I've pretty much stopped talking to MIL to the point of just avoiding her because of how pushy she is about some things.
Does your doctor think there may be some new options for you?
I can really identify with that. Mothers and MIL's do seem to go through cycles where they will seem to have come to an acceptance of the CF status, but something in your life changes, and they assume that changes the CF calculus. It happened with my mom when my SIL had a baby. She asked if that had brought up the child issue again. I told her there was no "issue", that we didn't want to have children, and that other people's procreative plans weren't part of our decision making process then, so why should they be now.
But perhaps your MIL also meant by her comment that she hoped this procedure would be able to put an end to the seizures and you wouldn't be troubled with it anymore. I'd hate to think your health wasn't even in the thoughts!
My dr is doing in depth EEG testing to see if surgery or a vagul nerve stimulator would be a good fit for me. Both options would help to lower the amount of seizures and could possibly lower the amount of meds. The meds can cause birth defects and for now it has been an easy answer for the "no kids". DH and I really don't want kids regardless of the seizure outcome and even if they are lowered due to surgery they are still in the mix of health history.
It is almost like she wants us to have a kid so she has a grand kid to entertain her or buy stuff for. She isn't thinking what our life is like and how a kid would fit into the picture.
My heart goes out to you that you have to deal with the baby-making-nagging while you're going through such uncertainty with your health. (By the way, I hope you're able to find something that improves your health!) I'm so thankful that neither my mother nor my mother-in-law have given me a hard time about having children. Complete strangers have chewed me out, but I'm thankful I don't have parents bugging me about that.
I hate leaving my cat. More than one night leaves me worried and pining for her. DH and I have gone on a few cruises, and I have a framed photo of her I take along when we sail. I am sure our cabin attendants wonder why these crazy people have a framed photo of a cat. :)
I can't believe she'd ask a question like that now.
Seriously. I can't wrap my head around why people would be so obsessed about grandchildren that they'd be so callous about the health of another loved one.
Do you really think she is stupid or could it be that she loves her son and had hoped to enjoy children that he might have? Do you think she might feel that you are a part of her family and that she should feel comfortable expressing her thoughts? Do you think that maybe your husband shouldn't have shared the conversation as he knew it would upset you? Again, do you find her to be a stupid person across board or just when it comes to the issue of having children? Do you think that on the flip side of life for those of us that have to deal with living life in a world where it is assumed all will have children that she is dealing with that same assumption and, like all grief, it waxes and wanes? Would you prefer to maintain a distant relationship with her? Have you specifically told her that you do not want to hear one more word about having children? Has your husband told her that he does not want to hear one more word about having children? How she explain ignoring your wishes?
I don't think that my MIL is really stupid as you are asking. I just think that it is a stupid and insensitive thing to be using a serious health issue as a leaver to get the "have a baby" conversation in. I had brain surgery in Jan and am doing well, but once things were scheduled it seemed that MIL started planning out when a baby could be here. I'm sorry, but if I didn't want a baby before, I don't want one now.
Does your doctor think there may be some new options for you?
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But perhaps your MIL also meant by her comment that she hoped this procedure would be able to put an end to the seizures and you wouldn't be troubled with it anymore. I'd hate to think your health wasn't even in the thoughts!
It is almost like she wants us to have a kid so she has a grand kid to entertain her or buy stuff for. She isn't thinking what our life is like and how a kid would fit into the picture.
Thanks for the thoughts.
It is official...MIL is hoping for children after my brain surgery.
I can't believe she'd ask a question like that now.
Seriously. I can't wrap my head around why people would be so obsessed about grandchildren that they'd be so callous about the health of another loved one.
Do you really think she is stupid or could it be that she loves her son and had hoped to enjoy children that he might have? Do you think she might feel that you are a part of her family and that she should feel comfortable expressing her thoughts? Do you think that maybe your husband shouldn't have shared the conversation as he knew it would upset you? Again, do you find her to be a stupid person across board or just when it comes to the issue of having children? Do you think that on the flip side of life for those of us that have to deal with living life in a world where it is assumed all will have children that she is dealing with that same assumption and, like all grief, it waxes and wanes? Would you prefer to maintain a distant relationship with her? Have you specifically told her that you do not want to hear one more word about having children? Has your husband told her that he does not want to hear one more word about having children? How she explain ignoring your wishes?