Question for the stepmoms

I take care of SS mainly because I do feel obligated to do so.
My man has to go out and work weekends when the boy is with us, and as much as I would love it if BM took him instead for the weekend and we just had him for the weekdays, my man really doesn't want to do that. I can't make him do it, and I would never try to force his hand on the issue.
So I sit at home and look after a boy that I really do dislike looking after. He is rude and extremely selfish, he is arrogant, he backtalks constantly. He treats me exactly like his mother does. I tried my best for over a year to like this boy. I was his friend, I sat and played with him when his father wouldn't, from both a sense of pity and trying to bond with him.
I taught him to read, which he is now claiming his mother did 3months after I sat with him for an hour every day teaching him the alphabet and how words are put together...
Until recently, I even cleaned up behind his ever increasing messes.

I ended up having a large argument with my man due to SS that had both of us angry and very upset.
The only times that my man and I have ever argued have been to do with that boy and his mother, and it is very upsetting as my man never seems to understand how it is being a SM to a child that is a miniature clone of a woman he despises.

After our argument, I told my man that I would be putting my foot down when looking after SS. I am fed up of the inconsiderate nature of the boy and will give him a chance to work it for himself or I will start diciplining better behaviour towards others into him.
I no longer clean up behind the boy, infact some of you may hate this, but I told SS that if he cannot be bothered to kick mud, gravel and sand from his shoes and trousers when he comes home, he can clean it up himself, as it is not my job to clean up after him (which got a "why not" from him, I was mad) after a week of him not bothering to clean up behind himself, there was gravel in the beds, in the sofa, in the bathroom... I told him. Clean up behind yourself now, or I will clean everything up for you... but I will dump it all into your bed so you can know what it feels like to sleep in the mess of someone else.
He's been good at cleaning up his sand and gravel for the last couple of weeks.

I'm still trying to work on actually being allowed to sleep past 5.30m on weekends. No matter what time we put SS to bed, he is awake at 5.30 and is incapable of being quiet. We only live in a 2room apartment, so unless you try to be quiet, everyone can hear everything. He has been asked and told to be quiet and he never even tries, even putting volume on the TV up so loud the neighbours can hear it. So again, after the argument with my man, I now tell him on a night, wake me up tomorrow and I send you outside to play with no TV. He tested me once on that. I threw him out like promised. He was good last week so lets see if it sticks.

So in a roundabout answer, I put up with looking after his kid because it is needed. I don't enjoy it, sometimes I downright hate it. I put so much effort into a child that is never going to like me to make the man I love more than the world happy. It makes me miserable when it goes badly, I only feel average when it goes well.
But when my man tells me how much it means to him, how happy it makes him to see me at least try, it makes it a little more worth it, even though he himself hates looking after the boy, he's only trying to do what his morals tell him is right.

But joy to the world, this week we have to go see his teachers about him picking on smaller children and beating up other boys, not doing his homework on his mother's weeks and his lack of respect to teachers *sigh*

The things we do for love...