Invisable, that is what I want..........

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2001
Invisable, that is what I want..........
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 2:56pm

Can a person not be meant to be happy? That is what I feel like right now, that I am NOT to be happy, this is my lot in life to be miserable and unhappy forever. And This in turn causes my family to be miserable and unhappy they don't deserve that at all.

No one understands me and what bipolar does to a person. They try but they don't. I am miserable because I have no friends and yet I have no friends because i am such a social idiot.

I am sitting here thinking if only I didn't have kids, what would I do in this condition? If only I didn't have to worry about school both for them and me, where would i be? Where would i be if I had friends I could call? Right now I want to leave and not return, I can't but I desperately want to. I know that this isn't the answer either, and I won't because I have obligations and won't cause my children any harm but leaving, they deserve better, but is it really beter in my current condition?

Well back to crying, i tried to sleep and that didn't happen, who knows anoter day in my jammies, I don't want to face the friendless world again.