Just trying to figure out if I belong...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2009
Just trying to figure out if I belong...
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 8:52pm

I am new to ivillage and have posted several times on the Depression board. I believe that I have been depressed for over a year now. One person suggested to me that I may be bi-polar hence I decided to post on this board as well just to get some feedback on this.

First of all, I am not in a position to be professionally evaluated at this time as I don't have health insurance. I have been seeing a counselor (he has PhD in psychology and counseling) who sort of ruled out bi-polar based on the fact that I don't exhibit impulsive behavior so no gambling or shopping sprees for me. As a matter of fact, I have a friend who has been diagnosed with BP a couple of years ago and her main symptom was that she maxed out her credit cards within a few weeks (the line of credit was close to 30,000).

So that isn't exactly me. My issues revolve around extremely low self esteem, anger at the world and some people for not liking me (relates back to self esteem), regret and guilt over things I've said to other people. Hurtful, mean things. I also regret acting in a bitchy way through out my 20s, I've turned off quite afew peopple that way. I mean, I think I'm a nice person but I did a few bitchy things in my life and now that I was confronted on it by an old friend, I became depressed when I started to analyze my life.

I've been analyzing myself and my life choices for a year now and finally decided that the poor choices I have made were probably a reflection of some kind of a disorder, I just can't figure out which one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 4:31pm

I cannot diagnose you because I am not a professional, but I can tell you that I am bipolar and have not gambled or have problems with overspending. There is also different levels of bipolar. I am not saying you are bipolar, just that there is a long list of symptoms and at different levels. Not everyone has ALL the symptoms.

It is good you are seeing a counselor. I have been pretty bitchy sometimes myself in my past, before treatment. I can still get irritable from time to time. I do not like that either.

I do know there are mental health clinics that go by a sliding scale fee, so you could check into something like that for a psych doc (pdoc) in order to get a dignoses. You are always welcome here to read and post. Maybe with reading what others go through, you may relate or not, but you are always welcome to come here.

     ~ Tina ~