I hate OLD

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2011
I hate OLD
13
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 4:21pm

Hi Im new here but I need to vent.

I took about 6 months off from the dating thing. I was dating from the same pool of guys for a long time and decided to take some time for myself. At the end of that six months I decided to try OLD. I put together a profile, which gets lots of foot traffic and compliments, so I know its decent....but I HATE the dating part!

Actually I hate the give this total stranger my phone # part (1st of all, I dont like giving out my number to strangers and secondly I dont like talking on the phone to anyone especially a stranger.)

I've been on a few dates so far. I should preface this to say that I made the commitment to myself if someone was worth 1 date, they were worth 3. Meaning that unless they were a psychopath, that I felt sometimes the first date isnt the best, so I would give each guy I decided to go out with 3 tries, if offered.

#1 was a Doctor (yes I call them by their professions) - He confused the directions, so I had to drive an extra 15 minutes and go find him. They he proceeded to talk about nothing but his work and kids....B-O-R-I-N-G....never heard from him again.. phew.

#2 was a VP of Finance. la-di-da.... Met at a restaurant, and started telling me his philosophy about how we all like a certain physical think in the other sex and we will go after that aspect even if the persons other criteria doesnt match up. I told him he was wrong. He said that made me calculating. Then went on to tell me how he would be willing to 'settle for an 8', as long as he was the most important thing on the planet to him. Well. I downgraded him to possible 'friend material' because well, at least he was social. And then I had fun. We have texted back and forth a couple times since, but no second date...not that I really wanted one.

#3 was a student and salesman (of what I dont know) He didnt make it that far. He was a gentleman and very funny and nice, right up until I gave him my number. Then he confused me for someone else. After I corrected him, he started telling me how big his anatomy was and how I should want him....yeah. strike 3...before he even got to the starting gate.

#4 was a Pilot. Very nice and down to earth. Professed to love all foods, then ordered very carefully off the menu. Since we were sharing things, it was pretty obvious when my suggestion of ceviche got downgraded to...glorified nachos. He was very sweet and well behaved and congenial, but had no spark in him.

I know its supposed to be a numbers game, but is it wrong for me to burnt out on this 2 months into it?

I just dont know if I can continue this way. Its so exhausting. I just want to meet someone the old fasioned way...whatever that is.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
In reply to: blakbyrd74
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 7:02pm
Welcome to the OLD board. I understand how you get burned out very quickly with OLD. Due to some new issues in my life I no longer search for men through OLD but I have extensive (and unsuccessful history) experience with OLD.

Believe me the person you are destined to be with may be found OLD as many success stories can attest but it does require a lot of patience and optimism. Frequent breaks are a must and giving up albeit a normal thought isn't going to get you what you want.

Stay strong and keep giving it your best.

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: blakbyrd74
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 7:56pm

Hey at least you are getting dates.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
In reply to: blakbyrd74
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 10:08pm

I agree with the other posters and will add: I always looked at the first meeting as just that: a meeting. I always preferred that it be very casual, like coffee or a glass of wine--not dinner. If we then got together again, I would consider it a date. This may seem like semantics, but I think it takes the pressure off.

I sure wouldn't commit to three dates. But I do agree that there isn't always a spark at first. If you feel that the guy is interesting and that you'd enjoy talking to him again, then go out again and see what happens. But I think we can size people up pretty quickly, so I say trust your instincts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
In reply to: blakbyrd74
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 9:08pm

My first date was actually pretty great, we did dinner and a movie and I didn't get home til 3 in the morning because we sagt and talked.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: blakbyrd74
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 11:16pm

Music You are doing better than I 3!!

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: blakbyrd74
Sat, 12-03-2011 - 11:54am

Well, that's kind of faint praise.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: blakbyrd74
Sat, 12-03-2011 - 12:22pm

Yeah I was the same short!

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: blakbyrd74
Sat, 12-03-2011 - 4:27pm

As I said, my ex is 6'1" but he's actually the shortest male in his family--his 2 nephews, who are in their 20's, are about 6'5" or 6'6"--even the neices are tall, while my DD is 5'4" but I don't think my son has stopped growing yet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
In reply to: blakbyrd74
Mon, 12-12-2011 - 2:20pm

I found over time that I got better at interpreting profiles and choosing someone to contact or respond to..

The fact that you had 4 dates in 2 months is actually pretty good.

sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
In reply to: blakbyrd74
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 4:09pm
I did the same thing you are doing. I gave at least three dates to anyone who asked. I probably went out with a dozen or so before meeting my bf, and did get burned out and took short breaks in between. When I did meet my bf it took until the third date before I felt anything, so I feel pretty strongly that the approach you are taking is a good one. Hang in there.

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