Well it seems I've pissed everyone off today.
Who are you seeing for therapy there?
If you are not seeing anyone, it is important that you take action to see a tdoc and get the professional support you need. You have a lot of stress and issues going on. If your family cannot be there then it is up to you to find a counselor who can help you make the choices needed to benefit you and your kids. You finding a tdoc is in your control, or going to your current tdoc is in your control to talk about what is happening and how to make a plan that will best serve you and your mental health. I am not saying you cannot come here and talk and get support from your fellow ivillage members, because you can, and we love you. But I can see you need deeper and more intense treatment and support.
I am sorry you have been hurt so deeply by your husband, his family, and your family. I can imagine how alone you must feel. That is why it is important for you to reach out for professional support to help get you more stable and get the help you need and deserve. It appears that your husband and family do not understand your illness and that makes it hard to cope when you feel little to no support. Therefore, it is important for you to take action to help yourself so that you can be there for your kids.
Just remember you are doing what you can with working. Why should you work OT while he ONLY goes to college. He should be working at least part time while going to school. People do it all the time. What makes him so special to not have to work while going to college? He has a wife and two kids to take care of, but he seems to be hiding behind his family and acting like an 18 year old with no obligations while going to college. Do not allow your husband or anyone to make you feel like you are not doing your part. It appears it is your H who is not pulling his full weight. Not to mention, you were the one who moved away from your familiar place of residence across country and away from your family. Even if you thought at the time it was a good choice, that does not make it any less difficult to handle. He has his family around.
Yes, it must be nice that your brother can sit at home while his wife brings home the bacon, but forget about them. Think about what you need to do to make YOU better, to get your needs met. That may mean you depending on yourself to meet you own needs, but with counseling you can learn to do this. I know you deal with a lot of insecurities of mothering and working, but you are doing both the best you can and you are trying. I know your kids feel your love.
Hang in there and take care of yourself and your kids. That is the only priority that you have to focus on right now.
Hugs and Hang in there, Jodie.
~ Tina ~
I have the flu right now and not a lot of energy, but after reading Tina's post I see that there is little for me to add.
I hope whatever you come up with it helps your situation.