Husband is getting worse and I can't talk to him - I feel so much anxiety it's killing me

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Husband is getting worse and I can't talk to him - I feel so much anxiety it's killing me
6
Wed, 02-29-2012 - 1:29am
Hi, I've written before in this forum. I talked to my husband about his alcohol use and my concerns and now he's mean to me every time I talk about anything. We are in a long distance marriage.... He told me he "just unwinds after his day of work with a couple beers." I told him its not good to drink every day and old him about health concerns. His mother is an alcoholic. I didn't tell my sister in law about any of the talk i had with my husband but I was talking to her about our husbands family (we are both wives of brothers). She said that her husband has tried to talk to our mother in law about her drinking and she says she's not an alcoholic and only "unwinds with a couple cocktails after a long day." So my husband is using the same excuse. He says he has no problem. Every night when I talk to him I can tell he's drunk. If I ask he yells at me but he gets confused when we talk and can't remember the conversation the next day. Then on weekend nights he drinks so much... From like 1pm til 4am. This is causing me so much worry and stress. But...He is obviously not ready to address this problem. And now he is being totally nasty toward me after I talked to him. I feel like he is finished with me. I asked him and he said he stil wants to be together. But I can't be with him if this is going to be our life. I am completely unhappy.... Any advice would help. Thank you.
Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997

PLEASE,, go to a counselor, or, even, better, to ALAnon. You can have face to face help.

You have learned that you cant cure or control his alcoholism, but it is certainly messing with your life. Therapy or counseling will help you to detach with love. That sorta means that you still love the person but back off from the alcoholism. Easy to write, hard to do.

Keep in touch.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2002
Beth is absolutey spot on. There is absolutely nothing you can do for him and you are only driving yourself nuts and causing your own stress related issues. At least try Alanon for six meetings....and see what they have to help you. Let us know how you are....God bless...
Alcohol, Addictions & Recovery. It's a long way down, but only 12 steps UP
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2002

One of the things


 


"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011

Wow, Deb! Such helpful words. I needed that, too! Thank you,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2002

You're very welcome!


 


"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010

Noone could have said it better than Purple.