Any tips for keeping my sanity and NOT snooping?
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| Sat, 03-17-2012 - 11:34am |
Hi all,
Looking for some strength and some tips. My H and I are splitting. We are stuck in our home for hopefully a short time while we get the legal stuff taken care of. Living together is taking a very serious toll on my sanity at this point. I have no idea if he's seeing anyone or intends to but he is behaving in some ways that point to it. Of course it could be nothing and more importantly I shouldn't let it bother me as much as it does....but it kills me. I feel like I deserve a little respect and consideration after a 10 year relationship. The less I know about what's going on in his life, the more I feel like he's spending his time with someone else and I know this could all be in my head.
I'm trying to develop some mantras to repeat over and over to remind myself that I'm moving on, that I have to take care of me and my health and sanity, that he is a grown man that makes his own choices and I have nothing to do with that - nothing I do or say or feel will change that.
Any tips to help me stay the path of sanity? Also...any tips for not snooping? I don't want to stoop to that level and become a crazy wife...but I am still his wife and the thought of him lying hurts. I've been good at talking myself out of it so far. It just bothers me that I even think about it.
Thank for listening,
libby
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Is there no family members or friends you can live with temporarily? If not, I suggest you talk to him about coming to an agreement that neither of you will see other people until you're no longer living together - you are already in a complicated situation by living with someone you're married to but no longer in a relationship with... throw in seeing other people and it's bound to get messy. Maybe you've already approached him with this and he's rejected the idea. In which case, I would remind yourself that he's an A hole and you're lucky to be leaving him and pity any woman he might be seeing.
Genealogical Musings
Thanks UK girl. I actually did talk to him the other day. He happened to find me crying while packing some things. I let him know how hard the living situation was for me and I asked if he was or if he intended to start any kind of relationship (casual or otherwise) with someone else. He said he was not seeing anyone and didn't intend to. He seemed sincere and I do feel much better about at least that part of this whole thing. I hope that lasts. Trying to see a lawyer this week to see how quickly I can move out.
Thanks again.
lib
You may still be his wife in the legal sense.......but you're splitting up, just waiting for legal stuff.