Hilariously horrible vacation stories!

I've been on a trip to DC with a friend who had flu the entire stay. And DH and I (and most of the rest of our Nile cruise) spent several days each on tha cruise with Tut's Trots... Which would have been OK if we didn't have to endure a 4-hour bus trip to Abu Simbel on a bus with a non-functioning toilet *and* a door to that self-same toilet that didn't close.
And then there was the cancelled flight from Heathrow to DC (wonder what it is about DC!) that was cancelled over the Irish Sea when they found they couldn't get the landing gear up and when we returned to Heathrow it was the full "brace, brace, brace" routine... Only to find they had no crew *and* no plane (but business class and first class got to fly Concorde as did our luggage!)... Only one of many delays and cancellations (one in Tokyo, one in LA) but the worst for a friend who fear air travel as it was!
Nothing I'd call hilarious, though!