As good as it gets

Hi Everyone, I have been trying to make more of a conscious effort to notice when I have moments of peace so that I can make it more of a habit than a rarity. Many of us have commented about the fear of facing the boredom in our marriages after having experienced the intense highs and lows of an A. Last night, I was watching my H snore while I was doing my crossword puzzle, a rerun of Seinfeld was on in the background and my fattest cat was hogging my pillow but I felt very peaceful. I put my puzzle down and just savored that feeling for a minute and said to myself ' this is as good as it gets' and I was happy. Happy because my loved ones are healthy, I have a comfortable home, plenty to eat, lovely friends, and activities that I enjoy. Happy that my life is what it is and that I can be present in it again. If that is boring, I'll take it any day over the drama of an A. I will take being honest and loyal with boundaries to keep me that way. I will take watching my H sleep soundly without the horror of knowing his W strayed. I will take this second chance with the deepest of gratitude that noone got hurt except the two people who crossed the line. When we are calm and uneventful we are usually living life fully and in the present rather than spoiling away precious time by pining for what can't and shouldn't be. I had another moment like this when Rain and I were at the beach on Monday. We were standing by the shore letting the water splash around our ankles and there was a perfect breeze that we both noticed. There I was with one of my dearest friends in the whole world, who I had only just met in person a few days before, but I felt so at peace, so complete and I knew life didn't get much better than that. It made me realize that I don't need the highs from validation or the lows from perceived rejection to make me feel alive. I do not need to create drama to stave off boredom or to make me feel "special". I just need a few times in life when I can share a day with someone dear to my heart and feel in the moment enough to savor my surroundings and appreciate the person I am with. It isn't the high times or the low times that define us but the steady comfortable times, the times when we can know that it is as good as it gets and actually be glad of it. I can't help but think of Iddy and how she always said 'let father time do his magic'. We can bounce back from anything in life with enouh time and space. It's how we fill that time and space that determines who we are in the future. Squeezes and love, GH