Trying to stay the course

Hey Bird, I am thinking you are not as stuck as you think you are. You might just be really burnt out from the forward push in ending, the endless self-checking, trying to break thought patterns, trying to stay NC, not cyberstalk, reattach to your life, avoid talk of X, and on and on. Honey, it is a huge undertaking and there are times when you have to stop and just accept where you are even if the feelings go around and around. You WILL get to the next step when you're done swirling around in this latest slump. Look how far you've come in 4 short months. Isn't it strange how we get worried about the good, balanced spells fading out but we assume the bad spells are going to stay? This is something I had to really work on myself. Feelings come and go so we can rest assured that we will not feel one way forever. You are doing the work even though it is very tiresome sometimes. It is sort of like trying to get really in shape at the gym. Changes come about so slowly but with an intense amount of work. Then one day you look in the mirror and realize "This is good. I like this feeling" and then all you have to do is maintain and tweak. So sorry you are struggling with thoughts of X and his future. I hear a lot of intimate details about mine from friends and I repeat in my head "this has nothing to do with me anymore. I am taking my life back" or something to distract me. There are times when I am not okay and I do not feel so.forgiving of myself or anyone else. Sometimes I still wonder about certain aspects of the A. It is a well-learned reflex so I just keep working on reconditioning myself just as you are. Hang in there Bird! (((comfort squeeze)))

Bird,

You were the lucky one. She can have him. What did she win? A lying cheat? Ok...so, he is no prize. N winning?? There is no winning in a A. None. Better she dealing with him. She is expendable like all women in his life.

Stay off FB...n who knows what will happen between them. He might use her up n move on...he may stay with W, who the hell knows? N I am thinking I hope you get to the point where u don't care. At all.