So New to Me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2012
So New to Me!
6
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 3:00pm

Hello! I'm 36 years old and have decided to donate my eggs to my good, good, good, girlfriend who is 40 and married. Her levels are too high so she needs a ED. She waited so long because she didn't want it to be anyone she knew and now at this point it will cost $20,000 to get a ED and that

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 4:09pm
What a great thing you are doing for your friend. During my very first IVF cycle, I was planning to have a friend donate (since it was expensive otherwise). She ended up not being able to donate because of some large cyst that she had, but we were going to have legal paper drawn up. Me as the recipient of the eggs would feel more comfortable having my known donor sign legal documents. Its not that is like a business deal, its more for security for that mother (donor recipient). I believe an attorney should be involved.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2012
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 2:11pm
I also agree that you need to see the attorney. The way to keep your friendship is to have a formal agreement that protects all of you. This could be a highly charged emotional situation and you don't want any misunderstandings that would mess up your relationship with them. It's really to protect you all, so I hope you consider it!

I think that's such a nice thing that you are doing for your friend, not many people would be this generous. In this type of situation, I believe it's good to keep it to yourselves, it's really nobody else's business. Not everyone is open-minded when it comes to egg donation, sad to say. Do you think they'll tell the child later on how they were conceived?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2012
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 2:47pm
Thank you! I needed to hear that regarding keeping it to ourselves. I think that is the best decision and the attorney considering the situation I agree I want our friendship to forever stay in tact. I just pray I pass all of my testing and i'm able to be a Donor for them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2012
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 2:49pm
Thank you. We've been friends for years and she truly wants this to happen. I pray all goes well with my testing and I am able to donate to her. Once I thought about the attorney it begun to make more sense and I do under the legal aspect of it all. I will def post once I start my testing and see if everything will be a go starting next month. Thanks and Matthew is adorable Congrats!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 12:44pm
First of all, Thank you for offering to do this for your friend! I hope everything works out! Our clinic has a cutoff of age 35 for known donors so make sure you check that before you all move forward.

We used a known donor. It worked out just fine! We did not do a legal contract, but it's adviseable to. Our clinic did not require it and I'm an attorney so I felt comfortable enough with the situation to not bother with it. Just so as you understand that once the eggs are out of your body they (and any resulting embryos) belong to her and you have no right to them. We all did have to sign a document that said that but it was provided by the clinic not by an attorney.

Also make sure the four of you do some counselling together. Even just one session with a reproductive counselor. There can be a lot of emotions during the cycle and you all need to be prepared for how you will handle it if it fails so that it does not negatively affect your friendship. We were very lucky it worked the first time so it was never an issue.

Best of luck to you!
Cheryl, Mom to 3 year old Aeryn via adoption, TTC since 2003 and finally pregnant via Donor Egg!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 3:08pm
Hi nishamonique! I wanted to welcome you to the board, looks like you've gotten some great advice already. I look forward to seeing how this goes for you, keep us posted :)