Last date--one year ago

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Last date--one year ago
12
Wed, 09-05-2012 - 8:11pm

Now I'm not pathetically keeping track in my calendar or anything.  The reason I know is that last year we went to something called "Fashion's NIght Out" and I'm seeing ads that it's tomorrow night.  This event started in NYC as a special kind of event where a lot of stores had shopping events & celebs would go & stuff like that.  Last year Boston had one too--it was actually a fun thing to do.  First we went out for dinner, then we walked over to this street where all the best designer stores are.  They had the whole street closed off to traffic, a car dealer had set up all these expensive cars to show in the street, there was live music & stuff like that.  I do remember that even though we did talk pretty freely during dinner, it was still a little effort--not very relaxed like with friends.  This was our 3rd date--but it had been quite a few months since the 2nd one.  We had met on line, went out and then he never called, then he located me again on line & asked me out again--I shouldn't have given him the 2nd chance.  Well we had met up downtown, I was parked nearby so I offered to give him a ride to his car--I expected him to at least kiss me good night, but he didn't.  He had told me that the next week he was having minor surgery so then I called him the night before to wish him good luck with that.  He kept saying how nice that was and that he would call me after he felt better--but never did.  Also, I told him he had left his umbrella in my car.  I guess he really didn't want to see me since he didn't even come to get his umbrella.

I am not really missing this guy.  He was nice enough, had a good paying job, owned his own home and seemed like a good person, family oriented.  Yet he was over 50, never been married because he was "scared."  That didn't phase me that much since I'm not really looking to get married again--but maybe it would also mean that he didn't really know how to conduct a relationship.  I found him a little boring and he was definitely not as smart as me--I don't like it when I have to worry about not to appear too smart so as not to make the guy feel bad.  I really do want someone with  a college education or if they don't have one, someone who is well read, up on current events, or at least seems more intelligent.

So in that time, I have pretty much given up on OLD--oh yeah, I do check on the free sites once in a while, but I can't really convince myself to contact anyone first.  They just kind of seem "blah" to me, although in person I'm sure I could find someone nice enough.  I started going out w/ a single parents meetup group--I've only been to 3 events but each time I've had a lot of fun, although no male prospects as far as dates there yet.  I've gone dancing a lot more--met some women through my dance school who like to go out & try new places so I'd say my weekend social life has improved.

So I guess it's been some good & some bad.  I really hope I don't have to wait another year for the next date!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Re: Last date--one year ago
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 5:40pm

sometimes you're not what the guy is looking for. You may the a better catch than the guy but he still rejects you. That's why I shy away from writing to guys online. But, in order to meet a guy you want, you must venture out. Maybe one out of 10 times, you will find a guy that thinks you're awesome too.

right now I don't have the stomach for OLD. I have disconnected the email I used to sign up with match. They sent me a 30% off offer in that email. Maybe I need to sign up again with my new email. When I feel up to it then I'll sign up with match.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 5:50pm

I like smart guys, intellectually and financially. I usually meet smart guys, but not good with money, like my ex-bf. I went to a meetup group a few months ago and immediately a guy made friends with me. Smart but broke. Maybe there's something about me that says 'sugar mama' or something.  

Nowaday, only old guys are interested in  me. I don't mind older, but a lot older is another issue.

When they're smart and young, they're not interested, or not interested enough.

When I was on POF, I did get to the phone stage with a couple of younger, seemingly successful guys, but the guys were flaky so we never got to meet.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 7:16pm

Well I think you said you're a doctor, right? Certain guys will just think "Hey she can support me."  I'm a lawyer but not a rich one since I've worked less than full time since I got divorced but I think that happens too.  When I first went on line a guy contacted me who turned out to be a scammer who wanted money (took me a while to figure that out)--I guess those people would look for professional women.  It's curious that the too much older guys don't hit on me--I figured that since all the middle aged guys my age (well, not really all) want to date women young enough to be their DDs, that I'd attract the senior citizen bunch but maybe once in a while I'll get a guy who's a little over 60--I have noticed some guys up to 70 who looked at my profile, but maybe they didn't contact me since the stated aged group I'm looking for doesn't go that high.  I'm already sorry that I signed up again for match since I am having no luck.  It's kind of like well, I'm not getting any dates IRL so I'll try this--there are over 1400 men in my age group w/in 25 miles of me.  Of course I know that includes a lot I wouldn't like, some who are probably married cheaters, etc. but out of that number of people you'd think I'd have better odds.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 7:50pm

When people ask what I do. I tell the truth. To hide it  means you think it's important enough to hide. Besides that, to lie is just too complicated.

you'd think that since you're in a metropolitan area, you'd find someone. I used to live in LA. That didn't help much. It seemed the men either have unrealistic standards or odd ones.  I'm going on a singles meetup small hike this weekend. Not much hope there but I like to chat with people in a relaxing setting. I just don't do well in an competative dating situation, like speed-dating or key-lock, whatever...Now match even has some kind of mixer thing I saw advertised on TV. Those events just make me sick.

 I just don't get women who just go nowhere and meet guys, in the supermarket, at the gym, etc...

I'm sick of hearing the latest advice from a friend to join a upscale health club b/c her friend met a wealthy guy there. I've never met a wealthy guy who was interested in me. I'm content with a well-educated guy who makes good money and is also good at keeping it. I can't even meet these guys. 

 

 

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 8:46pm
"Now match even has some kind of mixer thing I saw advertised on TV. Those events just make me sick." I'm sick of the commercials themselves. Next time you catch one of them, notice how many times you see some female giggling. Why aren't the guys having any fun?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 8:49pm

I'm not good at giggling. That's why I don't like these things :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 10:39pm

Yes you would think that in a major city with tons of available men it would be easier to meet someone.  I don't know why it's not.  I know tons of single women in their 30's to 50's so maybe there are so many available women to choose from, men are really picky.  I do know I"m getting tired of it.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 10:43pm
I've been told I have a cute giggle. It surfaces most often when I'm really nervous, usually while talking to a good looking man!
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sat, 10-06-2012 - 7:23am

Since I'm on Match again, I got an invite to one of those mixer things (I think it's called "Stir"?) OK, so I just can't imagine how excruciating that would be: Oh, look, there's ForPlay8inch over there...oh, and there's the shirtless fat man holding up the fish...look, it's the guy who never called me back...hey, there's the 75-year-old who sent me a nastygram.

Yeah, just the thing I want.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 10-06-2012 - 9:58am

Ha!  I never even considered that possibility.  That would be awkward!

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