Finding My Joy Again & Moving toward a conclusion!
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|Mon, 09-24-2012 - 4:19pm|
I'm a busy person, and for the past 8 months I've kept myself busy since I found out my husband cheated on me. I've thrown myself into my work, my kids, my home to keep from thinking about a betrayal that I found out about in January. I'm on vacation this week and have had a bit of forced serenity to allow myself to figure out what's next. My home life is bizarre to say the least, it's awkward, it's uncommunicative, never collaborative, and downright miserable and lonely. I've read a lot of the messages on here and the pain that people are going thru and my heart truly goes out to all of you. I'm no longer in THAT place, I find my joy in my kids and the time I get to spend with them. I put my energy and money I once put into my marriage into helping others and doing the best for my kids. I've come to realize my marriage is over, he cares about himself only and I think has for some time. I started separating our finances back when everything came to fruition and have set my sight on being done with this whole thing by the beginning of next year. I had let someone take the best part of the person I am and not appreciate it, and it turned me into an angry bitter individual. If I was younger I can say I would already be gone, bills wouldn't have been paid and my credit shot..But the older you get you learn the art of being tolerant to take care of others (my kids). I've let go of so much of my anger and hurt towards this person and look at them with pity now. They are a selfish shell of person they once were. For those of you that are in the beginning of this awful journey, please hang in there. THere is pain, anger, hurt, loneliness and maybe even a little hope that you can move past it and work it out together. It will get easier, but please protect yourself financially before it gets too far in the process, find your joy again in the things and people that appreciate you., enjoy the sunshine, the beautiful blue sky and sing with the car windows down...we only live once-don't waste it.