Marriage better after an Affair?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2012
Marriage better after an Affair?
13
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 1:46pm

I was just pondering this thought today, not really sure why maybe just because I heard it on Dr. Phil a couple days ago and I wanted to punch him HAHA! I remember after my D-day through all the haziness and anger my husband reading and then actually saying to me that some marriages/relationships turn out stronger after an affair. Well yesterday during our therapy appointment our therapist said that we were doing so well and that the marriages that do survive an affair usually end up in a more positive place then before the affair. Well let me tell you I lost it!!!! I am so sick of hearing people say that. I told my therapist and my husband that that remark sounds good when you are the person who cheated. It gives the partner who committed the infidelity to feel that their wrong made a right! Hell NO! In no way shape or form will my H infidelity ever be a positive thing that occurred in our marriage. Our marriage wasn't bad before, even our therapist is still trying to dig deep I mean real deep to figure it out. I am just venting, and wondering what the rest of you think? Do you all hate that comment as much as I do? Do you feel like it makes the infidelity seem OK because maybe in the long run things will be better? I say no way but am very much intrigued with what others think.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 8:37pm
Good for you! That is just a stupid comment. Maybe communication might be stronger after an affair but no way is my marriage stronger. Good.yes. Different yes, but stronger no. way.

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