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|Tue, 09-25-2012 - 5:02pm|
5 weeks in to the break up, and I'm thinking about things I didn't miss and feeling hope for a better future. So, why when he called today wanting to meet did I throw on nicer close, stop to fix my hair & run out the door? We met at a park, sat and read the paper and found things to talk about from the headlines. There was nothing romantic; we didn't talk about us at all other than his saying he wants us to go back to that park & have a picnic if the weather stays nice. The hug goodbye lingered beyond friendly, and at this point I choose to say something dumb about how long it's been since we've had sex. It just popped out... no pun intended. So, of course he says he would want to if I did. I said I didn't think it was the best thing to do & he said we can talk more about it later.
I am SO mad at myself. First, I'm supposed to be setting this example of how I want to be respected and treated, that I'm willing to move on if he doesn't want more with me, and then I bring up sex?? Second, isn't it his place to be bringing it up since he's the one who broke up with me? (and by the way, he seemed shocked by 5 weeks so that little factoid is evidently way more important to me & does that make me look :gulp: desperate??) Maybe I've been reading too many articles lately, but did I just basically wreck 5 weeks of work & let him think I'm fine with however he wants to treat me?