Find a Conversation
|Tue, 09-25-2012 - 8:01pm|
I really need support and understanding from other women who are struggling with fertility issues. I am feeling very alone and invalidated by others.
My husband and I have been TTC for over a year with no success. We recently saw a fertility specilaist who prescribed me Clomid. I was so hopeful that we would fall pregnant this month as tests showed I had ovulated. However, like every month before I got my period. I even did two pregnancy tests as my period was unusual and I hoped it was breakthrough bleeding. Both came back negative.
Every month I feel like I go through a grief and loss process when I find out I'm not pregnant. I try and try not to think about falling pregnant but it consumes my thoughts. My husband feels like there is excessive pressure on him, so I try not to talk to him about it all. Family tell me to just relax and let it happen - which is easier said and done. I feel like I have no one to turn to.
I'm driving myself crazy and am really struggling to cope with it all. Every month I perceive normal hormonal fluctuations to be evidence that I am pregnant, just to have my hopes dashed time and time again. I am finding myself resentful of people who are pregnant or have babies because it seems so easy for them to have a family. To make it even more difficult, I just found out my sister-in-law is pregnant. They had major fertility issues as my brother-in-law is in remission from prostrate cancer and underwent chemo. I know I should be happy for them, but I cried when I found out. I thought 'how come even they can fall pregnant?" I feel like a terrible person for thinking this way.
I just needed to get this all out...