My stupid mistakes

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2011
My stupid mistakes
25
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 11:57pm

I am trying to get over xap so I've done dumb things.

I saw a friend and we were making out when he tried to engage in IC.  I said no, but he he wouldn't get off.  I tried to push him off, but couldn't.  So eventually I laid there and cried.  He finally got off me and was upset because he said he thought I was playing hard to get.  Then, told me it was my fault cause I turn him on and now he would be in pain for hours since I didn't let him finish.

I left then I got emails saying the following:

Not my finest job. Sorry about that. It was nice seeing you though.


You're quiet. You ok?

 

I am tired of people looking at my body.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 12:53am

I'm so sorry, too, kittery.  I know this is the last thing you needed to have happen right now.  Benska is right, this wasn't your fault in any way.  Please know we're here for you.  (((HUGS)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2011
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 1:37am

Kittery,

Much love and hugs to you. You've done nothing to deserve this. No person on earth deserves this to happen to them. 

This post is very disturbing to me and I have spent much time thinking of a response! 

Kittery, you know I have always liked you as a person from what I read of you on these boards. You are a nice, sweet, caring and smart person. And sometimes I feel like you are so nice, that people feel like they can push you. I know you are a former victim of abuse and this too nice thing can often be a result of that.  I myself am a sexual abuse survivor. Former victims are more likely to be revictimized. It's sad and its sick. The only way to make sure you are safe is by building confidence and knowing you are worth it, and being able to hold your head high like a woman who doesn't take s*&# is able to say NO. No matter how you may hurt and embarrass them, no matter if you worry you've misjudged the severity of the situation, no matter what they will say to you or think of you after. You are the most important thing, not any of that other stuff. 

I've struggled most of my life with this, and only in the past few years do I feel that I have some control over myself and my sexuality and those in my life who are close with me. And also my feelings about my sexuality and my body. It has been so much work but I am so much happier now than I've ever been. I'm not there yet, but I hope to someday be there. 

Be strong and do not let this man get the best of you. Hugs and well wishes Kittery. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2011
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 1:37am

Oops that was supposed to be in response to Kittery! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2012
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 9:46am

What an a-hole.  I'd kick'em in the balls and tell him to go take a cold shower.  Boo-freaking hoo that he didn't get to finish and then he has gall to blame YOU?!  An affair should be so much more than just physical sex.  There needs to be a connection on a personal/mental level before physical intimacy happens.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2011
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 10:13am

no this is not an affair.  We just kissed.  But then pushed me down, was on top, trying to get inside me, while I kept saying, no please, no.  So, I just started crying and didn't move.  Eventually, I begged him to let me go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 10:17am

I hope you never see, talk or have contact with him EVER again. I'm so sorry Kittery and sending you hugs.

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 10:44am

I am sorry for what you've gone through.  I hope you know this is not your fault.

If you ever communicate w/ him again, the only thing you should tell is that you are planning to file criminal charges against him, whether that's what you are actually doing or not. He committed a crime, attempted rape, and he is a criminal, there is no other way around this. "NO" means "NO" and he knows it and he chose instead to attack you.  At the very least, he should know YOU KNOW that this is a crime committed against you. That's your place of strength.

==

Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 10:51am

I am so, so, so sorry this happened to you!  What a jackass!!!!  No matter what, NO means NO! 

Are you ok?  Um, you were crying and telling him no.  How is that hard to get?  I would only respond to tell him you are pressing charges!!!

We are here for you and big ((hugs)) today!!

 

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 11:45am

 

You're a beautiful woman ?kittery :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 1:58pm

How are you doing today, kittery?  Did you sleep at all?

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