need insight about jealousy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
need insight about jealousy
17
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 1:42am

Hey everyone I need some points of view about something that happened yesterday that made me jealous but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.

Last Saturday night my hubby went to 10 yr graduation dinner and dancing after. None of the spouses were invited as they wanted to celebrate alone. I also went  out with some friends that night and we both came home very late. He said that he had a good time, that they danced a lot. Last night one of his friends send him photos and on these photos there is my husband dancing with one woman on a chair and they were very close. Here where we live in Italy, when you are celebrating something like this, it is very common for people to get on a chair and sing and dance. But why is this woman on the same chair with my husband? Like there are no other chairs in this bar!

Anyways, I got very jealous and asked him about it right away.He said that he was dancing on the chair and she just came on it but he didn't think it was anything wrong because they were just having fun and he knows her for 20 years. She is also married with a child.

I tried to explain to him that it is one thing to just dance with everyone together or even just dance with his women friends normally but that dancing on a chair like that it's too close for my liking. He then said that he understands that I don't like it but that I should not be jealous so much,

My jealousy does not come from the fact that I think something happened between them but simply that I think it is disrespectful and If I was to do the same thing, I'm sure he wouldn't like it either.

So my questions is, what would you do? Would you be jealous if your husband did the same thing? I know it is not something that I need to dwell on for a long time but it just really made me uncomfortable especially.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 11:11am

I'm not upset that I can't control other women, who said that! Please stop trying to twist my words.I'm just saying that it happens a lot that other women hit on him. These women can do all they want, for me it's more important his reaction.

I already said that I understand I am sensitive and it is something I need to work on. I just wanted to see how other people deal with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 3:47pm
Here's the thing though. My H is also handsome and very outgoing, and I know for a fact other women have hit on my H. Other women can hit on him all they want and I have no control over that. What matters is if he is open to cheating or not. And don't kid yourself, their not as cluless as you think. They KNOW when another woman is showing interest in them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 5:42am

Yeah I think you are right, maybe he is not so clueless but he definitely doesn't participate in the flirting, at least not that I know of. It just seems that he is clueless about it. We have been married only for little over a year so we are still trying to find learn about each other.

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