Other life events

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Other life events
13
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 12:47pm

It's my APs wife's birthday tomorrow and they are having a big party on Saturday.  This is the first time I am having to deal with a big life event on his side of things.  How do you all cope with these things?  I understand he is obviously going to be giving her all his attention.  I don't want to bring it up though.  Should I just expect not to hear from him?  At the moment we speak multiple times a day..  It makes me just want to get drunk to be honest... lol

Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
In reply to:
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 1:53pm

How do I cope?  Um, I try to keep busy and not think about it.  Even though it is her b-day, he might or might not contact you.  It depends on how he is and your R.  Getting drunk might help!  lol

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
In reply to:
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 1:53pm

What I've done in the past is expect to not hear from him & make plans with friends or a special day for myself.  If you hear from him, it will be a pleasant surprise, and if not, you won't be dwelling on it.  I used to create this image in my head of xAP & SO being all lovey-dovey, romantic and happy.  I don't know why I tortured myself that way.  Unfortunately, most couples who've been together very long don't act like that anyways.  Holidays, birthdays, etc are routine & they're mingling with friends and family. 

You'll have to decide how you want this to go as far as how much you want each other to share about your personal lives.  And there's nothing wrong with telling him it's hard for you.  The more you try to play cool when you're not, the more it will come out in ways that can cause problems down the road.  I learned that the hard way.   If you are okay just letting it go, then try not to get wrapped up in your thoughts. (not easy, I know)