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Registered: 12-31-1969
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Wed, 09-26-2012 - 3:00pm

Hello everyone!!

I found this board by mistake but thought I would stop by and say "hello". I'm not sure if I'm in a May-December relationship...is there a cutoff? I'm 32 and he is 41 so that is a nine year difference.

Of course I tease him about dating a younger woman all of the time. :smileyhappy: But I love this man a lot. We have only been together eight months but are already discussing a future together. He's divorced with no kids, I'm never married with no kids. I do know that BF is more ready to settle than I am. There is no hurry on my end so I'm doing my best to set the pace.

I would say our current (and funny) hurdle is when he mentions an old TV show, Actor, song, etc and he gets a "blank stare" in return from me. I'll often respond "Erh.....I don't know what/who that is. But hey, let me call my dad and ask". As much fun as we are currently having, I do think about the future.

I'm aware that he will retire a good nine or ten years before me. Yes, this is far down the road but still in the back of my mind. Also, joking aside it is very likely that I will outlive him. This isn't enough to stop me from building a life with him but I have expressed my concern.

He says he understands my feelings about this. But really, there is nothing that can be done about that. He just promises a clean house and dinner on the table when I get home from working while he is retired. It's nice to hear that from him but I still balk at the idea of working all those years.

This is the largest age gap I've ever had in a relationship. I prefer old men, but seem to attract younger ones. I'm optimistic that this will work out but don't want to lose any sense of realism in the process.

Thanks for listening! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
In reply to:
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 10:24am
Welcome to the group! There is no cut-off on ages, so you are very welcome to post here. It sounds like your BF is very sweet, and I love his promise of a clean house and dinner on the table for you. How did you meet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2012
In reply to:
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 4:35am
nad215! Exactly in the same boat as you. Except I have come to terms that I will have to continue working after his retirement because we want kids of our own. My DF is 17years my senior and at 43 his goal is to continue building up his savings & investment portfolios to ease our financial burden in the future.

He is very strict with our expenditures. Always reminding me to save, save and invest if my goal is to not have to work as hard once he retires.

Sometimes I joke with him that most women want to marry an older man so she will be set for life not to have to worry about having to work while he's retired. And he'll chuckle and reply good-naturedly, "Then you'll have to go find yourself an 80yr old billionaire!"
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2001
In reply to:
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 11:28pm

Hi Nad125, welcome!

I don't think that there is an age cut off for MDRs.  Anyway, it sounds like the two of you are communicating openly and that is great!  

I think it is important to talk about the future and who will be working, etc.  I think it is good what is planned down the road. [within reason].

CL for 11 years