A first for me

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
A first for me
10
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 6:31pm

I've been a Mom for almost 23 years, and for the first time one of my kids is celebrating a birthday away from home.  Amanda turns 20 today.  She came home this weekend and we spent some good time with her, but it seems so strange to not decorate the house, sing her happy birthday in person and watch her open her presents.  I'm blessed that we have been able to spend every other birthday with our kids and I'm sure this is only the beginning of birthdays and special occasions being spent apart.  I guess I should be celebrating the fact that I'm no longer the parent of a teenager!!!

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 7:05pm
Hugs. You could start the tradition my parents did with me when I left and call the minute I was born and say, "Time to be born!" and then sing Happy Birthday....
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 11:25pm

The first time we missed a kids' bd was when YDD was 22 and living in Va.  We also called & sang Happy Birthday, and asked her if she saw her shadow (she's a groundhog).  Thankfully, we only missed one more before she came home for good.  But it was missing the holidays that was really hard--for her as well as us. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 11:28pm
Hi Sharon, You beat me to the board for wishing Amanda a happy birthday! Did you and your husband do anything special today to celebrate? did you have cake left over from this weekend? I bet Amanda feels the same way as you wishing she could have stayed home with you this week! Looking back 20 years to her birth did she surprise you by arriving on time? How did her sister react to having a baby sister come home?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 1:13am
She said she had a great day. She had class this morning, then she went to lunch with friends. Her boyfriend took her to see Finding Nemo, then back to his house for dinner. After they ate they built a blanket fort and watched Harry Potter. I'm glad they aren't completely grown up! I always make her a giant decorated cookie for her birthday, so she took that back to school with her, and I sent her a cookie bouquet, and her friend made her cookies. She is set on sweets!
Amanda was 4 days late, and we like to say she has run on "Amanda time" ever since! Ashleigh thought she was a fun play thing for about a week, then when she realized she wasn't going away she decided a sister wasn't so great after all! I quickly learned to never leave them alone together, when I walked into the room one day and found Ash about to hold a pillow over Amanda's face so she'd stop crying. She wasn't trying to be mean..she honestly thought she was helping.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 10:04am

I remember our first birthday apart from one of our kids so well - because it was dd19 and she and I share a birthday. Her first year in college, we celebrated her golden birthday (18 on the 18th) by driving to college to see her. Last year, it just didn't work to drive 5 hours each way midweek when the boys had school and she had classes. It was really hard being apart. :smileysad:  We also felt weird because it was like, "hey, we're here celebrating (since it's also my birthday) without you!"  This year it will be even stranger because we've always celebrated, since she was 7, by seeing a play or musical together (we did it on parents' weekend last year, when dh and I visited). She's a kid who wants to be with mom and dad rather than get gifts. But this year we aren't going to visit alone (she really wanted her brothers to come) and dh says she requested LSAT study books. Sigh... I guess this is what happens when you're a grownup. Instead of going out to dinner and seeing "Wicked" with mom and dad, you get LSAT study books and a phone call.

I'm glad you were at least able to see Amanda over the weekend and celebrate in advance!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 10:22am

DD's birthday is March 5 so when she was in college we didn't ever see her on the actual BD but she had spring break for a week later on in March so we would save her gifts for then.  The first year when she was in the dorm, I found out that the college had a service where you could order a birthday cake and they would have soda, plates & stuff & they could pick it up from the cafeteria, so I did that--that was fun.  After that year, she was living in a sorority house, so her friends took care of the cake (or maybe their cook did something, I don't know).  This year is going to be the first time I wont' see her on Christmas.  She's a nurse and she already knows that she has Thanksgiving off but not Christmas and since she's 7 hrs away it's not like we can see her the day before or the day after.  She said that she didn't mind that much and she felt like the nurses who had little kids should be the ones not working on Christmas--I think she was more interested in getting New Year's Eve off.  Now I'd be the one volunteering to work on NYE cause I never do anything then (and didn't seem to do anything even when I was married--it's an issue).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 10:26am

I believe I took the LSAT when I was home for the summer.  I took them at Brown since I'm from Prov.  Brown is a city campus--you have to find parking on the street.  I locked my keys in the car (and it must have been my mother's car) right before the test, didn't have time to find anyone to help me out cause I would have been late.  My parents were going somewhere for the day. this was of course before cell phones.  so I spent the whole test wondering if the car was going to be there when I got out--it was and I don't remember how I got it unlocked.  A friend of mine took the test with me so maybe she drove me home to get a spare key.  And I still did well.  I know the format of the test has changed a lot since then.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 11:58am

I locked my keys in the car (and it must have been my mother's car) right before the test, didn't have time to find anyone to help me out cause I would have been late.

Impressive that you still did well, because that sounds like a very stressful way to start the day!

Your other post made me think of my mom - she's an RN and she worked MANY holidays. One good thing was that we celebrated Christmas Eve (Polish Wigilia) so she could work Christmas Day 3-11 or even 7-3 on Christmas Eve. The schedule was always one of the toughest things!

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 2:33pm
((Hugs)) and just keep that great attitude. You are right of course, but you are wise enough to count your blessings!!

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!