Just need to talk

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2007
Just need to talk
4
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 4:41pm

I am so hurt, sad, confused and angry. I have 4 yr old daughter that I had potassium problems with when I was pregnant, other then that everything went great. Then we wanted to have baby number 2 and I got pregnant and miscarried. I actually got pregnant again right away because apparentely you are very fertile after a miscarriage and I ended up having another beautiful daughter. Then this last fall we wanted to try again for a third......just as we were going to stop trying and put it off for a little while we got pregnant.....TWINS, well one sac miscarrige which in return made the other..................Now I just found out I was pregnant on Sept 16th. I went in for bloodwork right away and my progestrone was a 12 which my doc said the lowest he likes to see it is 20 so I take progestrone and baby aspirin. Today I went in for an u/s and he couldnt find a sac, he could see a tiny little spec but said it should be a lot larger if I was 6 weeks. He said he likes to hold out hope and thinks that I could maybe just be a lot earlier. I feel like I ovulated later in my cycle then normal but I had a PPT on Sept. 16th so that means I should be atleast 5 weeks?! So I went home thinking I am now just waiting for something bad to happen. Then the nurse called me this afternoon and said my Hcg level was 1,963 and said "thats a good number". So now what? I have some aching on my left "buttocks" and off and on back aches but I just feel like crying. I dont understand why this keeps happening. I have 2 babies and have lost 3 maybe 4. We both want more children but neither of us know if we can go through is again. Should I try and be more positive? Is there really hope? I know I shouldnt be negative but I dont want to get my hopes up again either. My heart just aches......

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2006
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 7:36pm
I have one DS who is almost 4, and this year alone, I've suffered 2 losses. I feel your pain. It is a terrible place to be in. Isn't it too early to really see much via u/s? Hopefully the progesterone will help, and given more time, you'll see your little baby on the screen. Can you get your hcg levels checked again to see if they are doubling properly?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2007
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 8:23pm

I don't really have any advice or input on this because I haven't experienced it. But I am so sorry you've had such a painful journey. Hang in there and just hope and pray for good things to come out of all this. Don't ever give up on trying to have babies, it'll happen. {hugs}

*AUBREY* --- Mommy to Kadin, born on December 3rd 2007 & Korbin, born May 20th 2013!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2007
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 11:20am

They checked my HcG levels that day and they were 1961 and the nurse said that was good.  I am going back in on Monday to see if they have gone up again so I need lots of prayers.  I am also nervous if my levels do go up that it may be eptopic?  Even if it was too early to see baby there should have been a sac or something?!  All he saw was a tiny, fuzzy spec on the screen and he said it should be a lot bigger.