I don't want to feel obligated to help his friends unpack after their move....
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|Fri, 09-28-2012 - 2:55am|
He's coming home for a visit next week. The original plan was that we were going to the mountains for a couple of days and then going to proceed onto a road trip. It was going to be just the two of us. However, tonight he told me that his friend who is stationed over there with him explained to him that his wife told him she needed help getting settled.
The problem comes in that I've been dating him long distance and the last time I saw him was a couple of months ago. Upon his urging he asked me to contact his friend's wife who was having her knee lasered. I did call her and we agreed to meet up for dinner. Now everytime the contact was initiated by me, I was calling or texting to check on her once daily. I started to see a pattern that it was one sided, so I proceeded to back off, because I was doing it out of courtesy to my bf.
At some point, her and the bf spoke and joked that I was going to be busy with her, helping her to get settled and unpacked, while the bf and her husband were attending a mason's meeting. I took offense, because every time I've been the one to initiate contact, not once has she picked up the phone to call or text me and then even to joke that I would be tied up with her helping her unpack and get settled.
Now that happened a few weeks back. Tonight he asked me what I thought about canceling our mountain trip and going over to help his friend and her wife unpack and get settled. I told him that it sounded like his mind was made up and that was fine, as I had a lot to do anyways, because I'm moving this weekend myself. I didn't get to tell him that I am opposed to going over there to help them unpack, when I feel sort of odd.
I did have a previous conversation with him when he asked me if I had spoken to his friend's wife and I mentioned that I had last called and left a msg and hadn't heard back. He said that maybe I should try her again, to which I replied, I don't force myself down people's throats that way. He said something about it being different now as we were family in his mind and they would have to see me as such. I further explained that acceptance comes in time.
I am feeling a bit frantic, because I pick him up from the airport next wednesday. He'll be around until that Friday and then him and his friend will leave to attend a mason's meeting and won't return until that monday. Then we will be here in this town and I feel he is anticipating that I will be with him the whole time while he's over there and wanting to ride motorcycles. I don't mind motorcycles, but I'd rather opt to be doing it somewhere else and not to feel obligated to have to help his friends, when I will have to unpack and get settled myself.