Is this concerning or normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Is this concerning or normal?
6
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 8:05pm
I just got married a month and a half ago. Sometimes my H will accidentally leave porn open on the computer when he leaves. I have no issues with porn. I used to do some softcore amateur porn before I met him. Today he left a folder open and I scrolled through it before closing it. Most of it was pretty boring and innocuous, but there were a couple of video titles that had the word "rape" in there, as well as a bunch from a site called sleepassault.com. Given his personality I found this kind of surprising. I didn't watch any of the videos, so I honestly have no idea how realistic (or not) the scenarios are.

Would you say it's somewhat normal to sometimes look at stuff like this? If you against porn completely then don't bother answering, because I don't come from that particular angle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 10:44pm

Age-of-Aquarius-

Hi. Congratulations on getting married.

A lot of people--men and women--have rape fantasies. The idea of being in control and taking someone at will (or being controlled and taken) can be very exciting for people. I wouldn't worry too much, unless you have some indication he wants to go out and fulfil his fantasies with other women.

 

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 6:04pm

Hi

Welcome to the board.

  This is just a fantasy.  Like the "bodice ripper" romance fantasy It is just the idea that passion is so great.  Many people wish for passion. 

Goldfish

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 11:06am
Thank you for the replies. I kind of thought so, but wanted to hear somone else say it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 12:34pm

For  alot of men (most?) who look at porn they have esculating desires to see more hardcore and out there acts. 

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 2:27pm

For many men Porn opens up a world we never knew existed.  Varations of sex and sexual pleasure undreamed of.  But after a while it all pales as it becomes like watching stoplights change.  That is when we look at different aspects and learn more.  Until that pales and so on.

Goldfish

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 7:26pm

Hence "esculating" part. Needing more and more hardcore acts. After you've seen so much fantasy about "pleasures undreamed of" alot of regular stuff becomes boring to a lot of men and they take unreal expectations into the bedroom with them.