Could my boyfriend be cheating on me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2012
Could my boyfriend be cheating on me?
5
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 8:59pm

Hello everyone. I'm a newbie here.My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and 3 months ago I moved in with him. I've never been suspicious of him cheating on me in our entire relationship...until now. See, there's this woman at his work and he's talked about how "cool" she is and how much they have in common and they also became friends on Facebook and have posted on each others' walls. He even told her on FB how much he appreciates her and how much her checking on him when he had to miss a day of work meant to him. He's also been acting "different" and now he's turning down sex, but one night he turned it down I saw him on the computer when he thought I was asleep "doing something" while looking at internet porn. I don't know what to do...on the outside everything seems fine between us (except no sex) but this is driving me crazy.What does everyone think? Am I just being paranoid or what? Thanks so much!  

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2012
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 4:54pm
Well, he was in a good mood the other night and home from work, so we talked. I didn't confront him about the computer thing and I didn't mention the woman in question by name. He assured me that "there's not anyone else" and that he hasn't been having sex because he's just been tired. He did scold me though, for being so insecure. I don't know, it didn't seem like he was lying to me, but I still can't shake this feeling I have.
Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 12:26pm
I suppose he could be cheating. Not much to go on here though. The woman from work, nothing too dangerous happening there yet but he seems to be starting to get closer to her, you should keep your radar up.

Have you noticed anything else that would lead you to the cheating suspicion? Is he gone more then he should be? Texting and/or emailing to her?

The internet stuff, well I don't think that is a sign of cheating. Its a sign of choosing that over you, a live body. So that could be emotional, also maybe connected to your recent moving in. Now he can "have you" anytime he wants, so it can take away some of the thrill, the urgency or doing it when you lived apart. He was very likely doing that the whole time you were dating, but you didn't know. You two made the most of your time together and shared intimacy when you could, but the living together can change it. If it starts to interfere with your sex life, then you definitely have a problem.

Anyway so back to your question, probably not cheating, but he is taking some interest in this woman and you might want to keep an eye on that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 8:47pm

It seems like he at least has an interest in this woman--hard to say if anything is going on yet.