October Goals

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
October Goals
7
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 9:03pm
So September goals did not fully materialize. Hit up Au Bon Pain more than once per week for breakfast and Cosi for their salads a lot. I did get more sleep but not very often. I have been adding more veggies in my diet though! I have worked out at least once per week.

With that said, a new month means opportunities to meet or expand upon goals.

Now that I actually have groceries in the fridge, I have a plan to stretch it out for the month and make breakfast & lunch from home except for Fridays. I can make salads, cut veggies & fruits @ night. I planned out making veggie omelettes 3 times per week and oatmeal on the other 4 days. I'm making soups, lentil salads, veggie chilli, even green smoothies!

Finances:
I am on the hunt for part-time side work to supplement my income. I changed my tax withholding and while gritting my teeth, have applied for IBR for student loan repayment,

Health:
Obtain insurance, make the apptmt with ophthalmologist, sleep by 10 p.m. (except during the debates!). Work out 2-3 a week either in the morning or evening.

New for October:
Wear my glasses daily instead of contacts after work...even on weekends while going out. I have got to get over feeling so self-conscious & uncomfortable with myself with glasses. Time to accept myself!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
In reply to: benilaw
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 8:25am

how strong is your prescription? i've always had coke bottles (and refused to wear them in public) but now you can get super-thin lenses for pretty much any prescription. it might cost a little more but your insurance should cover part of it (i got mine at lenscrafters and they were surprisingly affordable) and it would be a small price to pay for feeling more confident, don't you think? i love wearing my glasses now :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
In reply to: benilaw
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 10:07am
Very high. It will cost me about $800-$1,000 to get an updated rx. I'm actually wearing them today right now! Insurance will not cover them. A guy that I thought liked me said that I looked beautiful in them but then I found out that he was trying to use me to get a green card so that may have been a lie as well. :smileysad:

I've decided I just don't care anymore. I will wear them, live my life and accept myself with them first. I'm fairly jaded and skeptical of people at the moment. :smileysad:
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
In reply to: n2ishn
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 8:09pm

Hooooray!!!  Yea benilaw!!!  You go girl!!!

Still care...but only about what you think!  I agree that it's not a good idea to put too much faith in others.  I know this sounds on the negative side, but it's quite "freeing".  No expectations means no disappointments.  Not an easy task, but even when working towards it....makes life easier. 

Your actions/behaviors will follow your thoughts.  Your feelings will follow your thoughts.  Therefore focus on what YOU are thinking about yourself.  Is it real, or is it based on what others think....or what you think others think?  Most negative internal dialogue is based on something we believed at one time...most likely out of date now. 

I am not the same person I was as a child, a teen, 5 years ago or even 12 months ago.  We are constantly evolving.  Life experiences contribute to this evolution.  As adults with control over ourselves, WE decide who we are going to be as a result. 

The best thing I have done (so far) for myself was to allow myself frailties, vulnerabilities. 

Example:

"I was wrong"  (so what, everyone is sometimes...the world is not going to end.

"Thank you for catching that"  (really shocks people that you are ok with making a mistake and especially that you are ok with someone else catching it for you)

"I don't know"  (no one knows it all, though some may think they do..lol)

"I am sorry"  (don't say it if you don't mean it)

"That's okay, I didn't act so well either"  (then change the topic)

Acceptance of ones-self is the best gift you can give yourself.  It's okay to be skeptical; listen to your intuition and trust it.

You have accomplished a lot benilaw, in the past few years.  I remember some of your earlier posts.  Good for you!  Atta girl!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
In reply to: benilaw
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 8:29pm
My feelings are definitely based on others' opinions or what appears to be their thoughts or feelings.

I definitely know that my feeling so self-conscious is a result of how people have viewed my glasses. Even just last week, I had to deal with the reaction of "have you ever considered LASIK" by a salesperson! He wouldn't have said that if he wasn't Pakistani and I wasn't similarly of South Asian descent (Indian).

No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to educate my culture about their ignorant attitudes. I also can't seem to stop feeling so incredibly hurt over the attitude my culture has that women with glasses are less than or undeserving of love or undesirable.

Though I don't know if I would risk the complications of LASIK if I was eligible for the procedure, sometimes it makes me sad that I can't get this. Then I feel sorry for all the women who do get it just to get married.

How do I get past this? I am really tired of feeling the way I do!
Community Leader
Registered: 12-21-2001
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 8:37pm

Namaste

I'm glad you are not a statistic despite how glamorous the movies make it out to be.  Have you found an ophthalmologist and had a new evaluation yet?

If you are tired of feeling the way you do, you're sick and tired of being sick and tired.  What would you do if you had a recurring cough or migraines?

One of the ways is to avoid the 'triggers' of your ailment, another is to relax when the symptoms of the ailment are unavoidable. Still another way is to start building yourself up to contradict the symptoms.  Taking up walking to build lung power, regular meditations for relaxation. Finding something else involving that takes up most of your time and energy and that you really enjoy so that you think about this less and less.

mlk

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Community Leader
Registered: 12-21-2001
In reply to: benilaw
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 8:53pm

:smileyhappy: I managed to complete most of my goals for September except my blood sugar goal.

The fall planting is done but not all the cleanup and unfortunately they put the composter I'm eyeing on sale. The reward may come in October as an incentive.:smileywink:

For October I will try to do the same things but I need to add to relax, mediate and do more yoga.

Goal 1- Every other Wednesday as clothes washing day.
Reward: Teas/Rices

Goal 2- Every other Wednesday as the house wash/silver or pot polishing day.
Reward: Something from the jewelry making or silver catalogues

Goal 3-Fall planting and cleanup.
Reward: The composter I've been eyeing.  Goal 3a- New paint and decor for the dining room/the dark places of the front room need to come to light.  Reward:  

Goal 4- A blood sugar limit of 110.
Reward: A day trip

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
In reply to: benilaw
Sat, 10-27-2012 - 7:15pm

I just found out that there is something called ultra high index lens glasses available in my prescription...but not available here in the US. Part of me wants to consider spending the $800-$1,000 for the glasses and treating it as an INVESTMENT in me rather than viewing it as an expense. It definitely would be better for me to be able to wear them and rely less on my contacts to give my corneas some relief. But deep down inside, I know that the main reason I'd be buying them is to please society (especially Indian community) so that I look acceptable to them. It's not right to feel forced into spending that much just to make these people happy.

I wish I could look in the mirror and LIKE my appearance but even I don't feel good about how I look. I wish I could just choose to like how I look but it's easier said than done.  I really wish that I could just ignore the negative comments and not care at all what the community thinks about me and my appearance! I've tried in the past and it has not worked!